The main problem was that there was nobody to guide me at the moment I had this profound experience. I don't do drugs and I didnt do alcohol at that time. The problem was that for two days I had not eaten properly. When you don't eat enough food, your mind stops moving. There is only stillness. That stillness is so wonderful that you will stop doing any work after that.
But people will think you have gone crazy. So I eat a lot of food now to keep my mind in motion. I didnt disappear as such. But the belief structure that "I" exist as a unique independent entity had crumbled. There personality was as if totally dissolved in a second into a huge expanse of cool stillness. I felt as if I had suddenly connected to the earth or something. The connection with everything around me was clearly felt. I exactly understood what I was in relation to everything around me. My closed box body-mind was now opened up to the whole universe around me. The opening was established as soon as I realized where the "I am" arises from - the heart cavity as described by Ramana . At that moment, there was a descending of everything from the head to the heart. And everything after that is rock solid. Disconnection and seperation are the main problem of an unrealized person. An unrealized person is selfish, ignorant and arrogant and is unkind, cruel and in pain and enjoys that whole game of win and loss. An ego is always onto games - achieving tasks to boost itself to a higher status(perceived status). After that my games were finished. I started obeying the guidance of the Self which is to just live as life goes. I did feel as if God had entered into me which is true because the Shakti had arisen and joined with Shiva. Shiva is now in me. Pure consciousness of the universe is now in equilibrium within and without. There are no trapped energies left. I am sure I will not be born again. I will dissolve into the pure consciousness when my body dies. So no more heaven or hell for me. But if you are not realized, you will surely go to the astral realms which are slightly lower states of consciousness(mental realm). The astral realms are where ghosts wander and the dead people wait for their further journey. In a way, our soul knows so many things. But we dont remember it in our waking state. Most of us, while we are asleep, do go walking around in the astral realms. But we do not remember any of those experiences. It is just that the mechanism of the memory does not work in the usual way and the memory has to be consciously downloaded from the astral realm to our physical brain to remember those experiences. In that sense, our subtle energetic bodies have their own agenda and know much more than our stupid physical person understands. On Tue, Aug 3, 2010 at 9:18 PM, Mahakali <[email protected]> wrote: > roomsearching wrote: > .......... > > > Mine went back to normal after two days. I thought I was going to end up > on > > the streets as a homeless man because my brain was not working and I > didnt > > know what to do. > > Kali: may I ask you if, on that occasion, had been high on something > i.e. drugs or alchol? To disappear for two days seems to be very long > time... > > Did it happen again or was it the only episode? > > > Peace... > > Kali
