Re: disturbing nightmares
At this point, it's not worth it to me to go through the hassle of getting a prescription and dealing with side effects, not to mention the fact that I still live at home, so I'd probably have to involve my parents for transportation if nothing else; while I'm sure they wouldn't think any less of me and most of my family has been through counseling at some point, I like to keep things like that private and don't generally talk about them, so my only option would be internet counseling, which as discussed previously could be hit-or-miss, to say the least. It looks like I'm just going to have to learn to live with it, or practice meditation myself, something I really should be doing more often anyway. My only theory about the cause that remotely makes sense is that, being as this started happening when I was looking into lucid dreaming, and one of the basic starters is to become more aware of your environment in dream and waking life, I started trying t o cultivate a mindset to enable lucid dreaming. This entails doing reality checks in your dreams and a generally greater level of awareness; the latter doesn't really seem to be a problem for me as I frequently reflect on my daily experiences, sometimes pretty extensively even as things are happening, whether normal or unexpected, but it was very much emphasized in all the material I read, so I guess a lot of people must not truly be aware of what's going on in their lives to have it brought up so much, sometimes literally on every page. I think my subconscious mind understands in many dreams that a fundamental part of myself is missing, that being the capacity for logical thinking and self-reflection; most of the prefrontal cortex I believe, which is "shut off" during sleep. Why this wasn't happening before I don't know, possibly it was just maturity and brain development, and would've happened regardless of whether or not I'd looked into luc id dreaming. For whatever reason I'm not becoming fully lucid, and I think this may account for the suppressed feeling. I wonder if this is similar to what people dealing with mental illnesses on antipsychotic medications feel, and this is why they cause so much distress, if so I can certainly understand why people wouldn't want to take them even if they theoretically help with behavior.
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