In general people only have as friends those whom they have personal
interest in. In describing the gradual method of teaching 'Abdu'l-Baha
speaks of making friends with receptive people. Since He doesn't say that
one shouldn't make friends (and by friend I mean a person whom one sees for
at least mostly social reasons on a regular basis) with receptive people
whom we wouldn't normally want as a friend, it seems clear that we should
make friends with the person regardless. So there might be a friendship
with a person the Baha'i doesn't have any interest in. Let's say the person
becomes a Baha'i. The person who was a Baha'i all along might then want to
stop the regular social contact, given that the objective (conversion) has
been attained, and given that the other person doesn't really interest them.
There are three options I can think of at this stage: (1) remain friends
with the person, (2) stop initiating social contact with them and hope this
will make them lose interest, or (3) tell the person as tactfully as
possible that though they are nice you don't feel you have much in common
with them and would prefer not to be their personal friend anymore, and that
you had only been friends with them to try and convert them to the Baha'i
Faith. I am interested to know the answer to this, as it does seem a bit
sneaky making friends with someone one isn't interested in them for reasons
of conversion. Sounds a bit Mormon to me. I am also generally interested
to know what might be the "correct" response to a person trying to initiate
social contact with you (obviously wanting friendship) whom you don't
actually have interest in (whether the person is Baha'i or not). I am
assuming here that the person is a nice person, and not someone who would be
excluded by not being a good enough person. I am also assuming it isn't a
situation like a Baha'i inviting another Baha'i over to their house for
dinner, something which might be done when both parties are not actually
friends (in the sense of people who see each other often), and would only
happen very rarely. I suspect a lot of Baha'is might try and brush the
person off by saying they are a bit busy, and then hope the other person
didn't keep asking. This method obviously involves lying, and I don't
really like this is a valid situation to lie. So what is the correct way to
respond? To tell the person you aren't interested in them? Would the ideal
response differ depending on whether they were a Baha'i or not? The Baha'i
meaning of 'friend' seems a bit more liberal than the usual one, and one
uses it to speak of Baha'is whom we aren't friends with in the sense the
word is normally used.
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