Yesterday was a tough day and I feel like dumping it on someone, so here I go. I went to visit my mom. She is now living in a nursing home about an hour from me. She has dementia. My siblings and I moved her there last summer.
She couldn't live alone anymore. And she can't live with any of us because she wanders. Well, she more than just wanders, she takes off. Even when we have her over for dinner, which she loves, she'll take off. I don't know where she's going. Neither does she. She needs 24 hour supervision. So, we found a wonderful place for her to live. She has her own room with private bath, it's a brand new building, the staff are wonderful, there are enclosed courtyards where she can go outside. I honestly feel like God led us to this place. So, you would think that with finding a beautiful place for her to live and the fact that every doctor, social worker and nearly every family member agreed that she needed to be there that I could rest easy that the right choice was made. I can't. I still feel guilty. Yesterday I went to see her. I go every week and I bring her home with me for the day when I can. Yesterday she was really sad. She was still in her pajamas when I got there. She got up and started to get around to go out with me. Then she turned to me, looked me right in the eye and said, "I just want to go home. I really just want to go home." It breaks my heart. I know she wants to go home. Wouldn't you just want to go home? I wish she could be home but she can't. And this, I cannot resolve in my mind. She should be home, she can't be home, she should be home, she can't be home--- that's how it goes in my brain. I read recently that men tend to be more successful than women when they diet because of a difference in men's brains. They did a study and found that once a man makes a decision about something it turns off the emotional part of the brain related to that decision. Women, however, will still continue to experience the emotions related to that decision even after the decision is made. I want a man's brain. Thanks for letting me vent. jess --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "BGG Down" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [email protected] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/BGG_down?hl=en -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
