Jim wrote:
> >I just finished watching "Dungeons & Dragons". I'm not proud of
> >that, but I (a) had a free rental coming to me at the video
>
> Ha! Wimp!! I went with a bunch of friends to see it in the theater. Now
> *that* was painful! :)
You're either very brave, or very foolish.
> >In the name of all the Dark Gods of the Universe, I never, ever, saw
> >a movie this bad.
>
> I don't know about all that. Maybe it was because I was with a troop of
> fellow geeks, but I managed to have a *little* fun between the groans and
> eye-rolls when I saw it.
This movie cries our for MST3K - then, I might enjoy it. The fact that this
movie, along with "Mazes and Monsters", is going to be held up as an example
of my hobby pains me.
> >The range of talent they got for this film is amazing, considering
> >how bloody awful the script is. Halle Berry must have had a truck
> >full of money backed up to her house,
>
> Umm, to be fair, Halle Berry is not in this movie. The black elven ranger
> was played by Kirsten Thomas. Now, if you want to laugh at her for
> promoting this new Travolta movie as the one where they payed her an extra
> $500,000 for getting nekkid you'll be on to something.
I stand corrected - to be honest, I was in considerable aesthetic pain by
the time the credits rolled around, and wasn't paying attention.
> >and I can only assume the producer is holding Jeremy Irons' family
> >hostage.
>
> They should take away Mr. Irons Oscar for Reversal of Fortune. I've not
> seen this kind of hamming it up since I was in plays in high school.
The orgasmic expressions as he caressed each magic rod (no this isn't an
adult movie, but it could be based on that...) were amusing, I'll grant.
> >Granted, it is a step up in quality effects-wise for Tom Baker, but
> >there is simply NO reason for Richard O'Brien to associate himself
> >with this level of crap.
>
> Well, Mr. O'Brien's claim to fame is Rocky Horror. No cinematic tour de
> force, that one. Not to mention, I figure he was probably happy to have
the
> work.
Did you see "Dark City"? Fantastic work O'Brien did. He's got ability, but
it was wasted in D&D.
> To be honest, I most astonished at Thora Birch's "Queen Amidala on
> quaaludes" performance, especially after her fine work in American Beauty.
Oh, like, she was the empress? Okay? And, like, she was, like, you know, a
good guy?
> >And then there's Marlon Wayans... many people have complained about
> >Jar Jar Binks from "SW: TPM". If you thought Jar Jar was an
> >offensive character, don't slow down to see this aesthetic train
> >wreck. Wayans makes Chicken George from "Gone With the Wind" look
> >like Malcolm Frigging X. The character of "Snails" (no kidding)
> >spends the entire movie grimacing, uttering sassy one-liners and
> >screaming in wide-eyed panic.
>
> I was thinking Stepin' Fetchit myself. And don't forget the bald villain
> with the electric blue lipstick. Very disturbing.
Disturbing if you're bothered by overemoting drag queens, perhaps.
> >The lead, Justin Whalen, lacks only one thing to keep him from being
> >a big-time move star. Charisma. If charisma was air, he'd be the
> >Moon. Despite numerous loving caresses from the camera, Whalen
> >manages to smirk his way out of earning any sympathy or liking.
>
> LOL!!! Great metaphor. He was trying *very* hard to be Han Solo, wasn't
> he?
Oh, was that what he was trying to do? *snerk*
> >All in all, I'd recommend this film if you're (1) desperate, (2)
> >lobotomized, (3) doing penance or (4) out to throw away $3 that
> >could be spent on some Drano to snort. I'd rather read Piers
> >Anthony than watch this move again.
>
> Oh, c'mon now! Everyone needs a good laugh, and this movie did provide
more
> of them than many a so-called comedy! :)
Well, yes, but I don't want to encourage the director.
Adam C. Lipscomb
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
