This post and several others are "Emily Posting" in my mailbox.  I won't 
send the rest out right away to make sure I'm not posting from an emotional 
perspective.

>From: Sonja van Baardwijk-Holten <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
>Jon Gabriel wrote:
>
> > These nasty things *are* clearly being posted and said, and they are 
>against
> > the Etiquette guidelines.  The people who post them should, quite 
>frankly,
> > attack your argument and not you.  I have said this onlist before, and I
> > recently rose to your defense when I thought something had been said 
>that
> > was particularly out of line.  Yet, I handled it in a manner which I 
>felt
> > was more appropriate to the nature of our list: I posted a 
>plea/complaint
> > about the way list members were treating each other, and urged the list 
>to
> > be more civilized.  And, at least one list member who was previously
> > attacking you seems to have ceased doing so.
>
>Maybe I've missed it but nobody ever complained about this one:
>
>Robert Seeberger wrote:
> > I see 2 patterns superimposed on each other.
> > 1 You like to argue with Americans
> > 2 You have a problem admitting that you are a disagreeable cuss
>
>I'd say the latter is an inexcusable personal attack (weather it was meant 
>funny
>or not). If Jeroen had said something like this he'd be crusified by a 
>number of
>people on this list by now. I don't think it is funny and it doesn't 
>contribute
>anything to the discussion.

I'm not going to address that right now, except to note as others have done 
onlist that such comments can be easily misinterpreted by non-native English 
speakers.  I think Robert did an admirable job of explaining himself.

>
>I really liked Jon's post where he actually posed an interesting question. 
>Is
>the production of a site of shame'' actually an attempt at moderation?

I haven't really seen a response from Jeroen on this, and I'm curious about 
his point of view.  Perhaps he did and I missed it... I'll check.

Also
>interesting points are what factors would contribute toward moderation, is 
>it
>desirable or is a site of shame a good idea at all, what could be put on 
>such a
>site and what makes such a site better/worse. I think it is a valid 
>discussion
>as is any on this list. (Although I personally would much rather like to go 
>back
>to the 'ding' system)

I think a 'ding' system would be more effective, and more appropriate, 
personally.  It has become increasingly obvious to me over the past 6-12 
months that some list members (myself included at times) are incapable of 
objectively and unemotionally dicussing certain topics.  I think if more 
people spoke out to ding (while not singling out one offender,) we'd find 
fewer personal attacks.

I don't always agree with Jeroen, but I have on occasion opened my mouth 
when he's being personally attacked -- despite my feelings about the 
topic(s) being discussed.  List silence only results in a kind of tacit 
acceptance of such provocative behavior.  For example: we've already had a 
lengthy discussion about why more list members didn't say something when one 
particular poster called him a "f****** Nazi".  Responses ranged from "I 
didn't want to get involved" to "Look at how the list reacts against _me_ 
for asking for civility."  That's ridiculous.  We all know it's wrong, yet 
we do nothing?

And Jeroen has a valid point here... which I spent time over the past few 
days confirming.  He has, on multiple occasions, complained about personal 
attacks and been ignored or scoffed at by the offenders.  List members whom 
I respect and consider quite neutral keep their mouths shut, when a simple 
"ding" from them might curb the problem behavior of others.

>I can understand that (keeping in mind the co ownership of Jeroen) it can 
>make
>people nervous where the suggestion of shaming and naming come into play. 
>But
>there are three listowners. Fearing that anything Jeroen does will end in
>excluding listmembers, from this end, looks a bit like good ol' American
>paranoia* if you ask me.

Not paranoia.  This was not a situation where a difference of perspective 
might change interpretation.  Jeroen was quite clear about what he was 
planning on doing.  As I've stated before, his actions were designed to 
silence listmembers -- either by threatening them with banishment or by 
putting up a 'shame site' which would make them think twice about posting 
anything that could be easily be misinterpreted out of context.  _That's_ 
what I objected to.  I'll deal with Jeroen's response, (which I was rather 
impressed with, btw) in a future post.

When Eileen Tan stepped in to defend Jeroen a couple of months ago, she said 
something along the lines of "Congratulations, John G., you're one step 
closer to banishment."  (A very clear threat -- there's not much 
interpretation wiggle room there!)  I am trying to make the point here that 
threats of banishment are NEVER an appropriate way for a list owner to make 
a point with other list members.

Marvin and Julia have discussed why there is little trust of Jeroen on this 
list.  Since I'm not attacking him personally, only discussing his behavior, 
I am going to respond despite the request not to do so.

I don't think this is a general problem with list owner authority on my part 
-- just a concern that said authority is being exercised inappropriately.  
Threats of banishment from any list owners, whether they are perceived by 
said list owner as "not really a threat" or "mild warning" should not be 
made unless any other possible options of correcting violations of the 
Etiquette guidelines have been exhausted.  A threat of Banishment is severe 
enough that it should be a _last resort_.  (And a threat of banishment _is_ 
severe, even when the person uttering thinks otherwise.)  Why are Listowners 
incapable of saying to an offending poster: "Calling someone a Nazi is 
completely wrong and inappropriate.  I think you should apologize and not do 
it again."  Jo Anne did it all the time without saying "One more time and 
I'll throw you out of here permanently."  I see no reason why our three list 
owners can't be held to that same standard.

>Finally I'd like to nominate Marvin's post on the subject of the way of
>discussing and the subject of personal attacks as post of the week.

Agreed.  Marvin always seems to say what I would like to more eloquently 
than I'm capable of. :)

>PS *) I say 'American' here because I get the impression that Americans in
>general are against any type of interference by people percieved as in 
>power.

There is a definite mistrust of authority that is inherent to American 
culture.  History has shown us that power is easily corrupted.  You would be 
surprised, I guess, at how much many Americans really trust and believe that 
their system of government, despite it's flaws, is far superior to most 
others.

>Furthermore the concept of conspiracy theories are a largly American type
>cliche, widely introduced to the world by Hollywood. So I'm using it here 
>as a
>cliche not as judgement.

We're not all "Baywatch" and the "X-files" :-)
Jon


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