----- Original Message ----- From: "Marvin Long, Jr." <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: "BRIN-L Mailing list" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Tuesday, May 28, 2002 1:03 AM Subject: Let's Not Bloody Vote
> > Finally, the notion that banning him is a good way to teach him > "boundaries" as though he's some kind of kindergarten student, is > insulting and insane. No, it's worse. It's fucking bullshit. First of all, the idea under consideration was short term bans for times that he crossed the line of acceptable behavior. My personal viewpoint is that he is close enough to warrant a warning, but not at the point where a 1 week ban is appropriate yet. Second, it is a truism in mental health that the establishment of boundaries is essential in any relationship. Family and marriage therapy, in particular, include this in their work. In addition, communities such as churches have had to deal with boundary setting for members who exhibit unacceptable behavior, but still need to be treated in a loving, Christian manner. Now, mental health and pastoral care are not sciences, so it is possible that these general understandings are wrong. However, I think that your characterization of them is so strongly negative, that you need significant evidence to show why this consensus is not just wrong, but beneath contempt. Let me also suggest that you would need to adress why they've appeared to work in a number of settings. Indeed, I have personal experience with the utility of this technique. It is considered an important part of keeping out of the trap of co-dependancy. Dan M. Dan M.
