Again (and again and again), apologies for the profanity.
On Tue, 28 May 2002, Dan Minette wrote: > First of all, the idea under consideration was short term bans for times > that he crossed the line of acceptable behavior. My personal viewpoint is > that he is close enough to warrant a warning, but not at the point where a 1 > week ban is appropriate yet. Second, it is a truism in mental health that > the establishment of boundaries is essential in any relationship. Family and > marriage therapy, in particular, include this in their work. In addition, > communities such as churches have had to deal with boundary setting for > members who exhibit unacceptable behavior, but still need to be treated in a > loving, Christian manner. > > Now, mental health and pastoral care are not sciences, so it is possible > that these general understandings are wrong. However, I think that your > characterization of them is so strongly negative, that you need significant > evidence to show why this consensus is not just wrong, but beneath contempt. > Let me also suggest that you would need to adress why they've appeared to > work in a number of settings. Indeed, I have personal experience with the > utility of this technique. It is considered an important part of keeping > out of the trap of co-dependancy. I'm not questioning the value of boundaries in mental health. You've misunderstood me. I'm questioning our competency to determine whether or not applying a ban in response for Mark's behavior constitutes a "setting of boundaries" that might in some way improve his mental health. Now, if we need to set a boundary to preserve the social health of Brin-L, that's one thing, but we shouldn't pretend that we've made the decision based on a sage evaluation of Mark's personality or that we're doing it for his own good. We didn't boot Kyle for his own good, we did it for ours. If we boot Mark, we're doing it for our good, not his. IMO, if we boot Mark at this point, we will not have done ourselves any favors. Marvin Long Austin, Texas "Never flay a live Episiarch." -- Galactic Proverbs 7563:34(j)
