Strange? Some of this stuff is so incredible that I just flat out can't believe it. No offense. Funny though.
Med venlig hilsen / Yours sincerely M. Malmkvist / WWW.PowerCad.dk -----Oprindelig meddelelse----- Fra: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]Pa vegne af Ronn Blankenship Sendt: 7. juli 2002 02:31 Til: Recipient list suppressed Emne: Fwd: Is there a doctor in the house? A few actual reports from around the Emergency Rooms of the USA - to prove that fact is DEFINITELY stranger than fiction. A 28-year old male was brought into the ER after an attempted suicide. The man had swallowed several nitro-glycerine pills and a fifth of vodka. When asked about the bruises about his head and chest he said that they were from him ramming himself into the wall in an attempt to make the nitro-glycerine explode. A 50-year old woman came into the ER with a complaint of mild abdominal pain. During a pelvic exam the doctor found that the lady had inserted a whole chicken piece by piece into her vagina. Unable to have children she was hoping that the chicken would turn into a baby. An Afro-American woman with shortness of breath and who weighed more than 500 lbs was dragged into the ER on a tarp by six firemen. While trying to undress the lady an asthma inhaler fell out of one of the folds under her arm. After an X-ray showed a round mass on the left side of her chest her massive left breast was lifted to find a shiny new dime. And last but not least during a pelvic exam a TV remote control was discovered in one of the folds of her crotch. She became known as "The Human Couch". A doctor who spoke limited Spanish was rushed to a car in the ER parking lot to find a Spanish woman in the process of giving birth. Wanting to tell the woman to push he started yelling "Puta! Puta! Puta!" At this the grandmother started to cry and the baby's father had to be restrained. What the doctor should have been saying was "Puja!" (Push!). Instead, he was saying, "Whore! Whore!" An unconscious 36-year old Afro male was brought to the ER with cocaine induced seizures. As a nurse pulled back his foreskin to insert a catheter a neatly folded twenty dollar bill fell out of the foreskin fold. When the man woke up and demanded to leave, the nurse gave him back his belongings and told him where she had found the money. His pouted response: "It was a fifty, b*tch!" An quite elderly woman came into the ER complaining, "I got the green vines in my virginny". A pelvic exam verified that she did, indeed, have a six inch vine growing out of her vagina. Further inspection revealed that she had a mass in her vaginal vault. It was easily removed and looked very much like a potato. It was, indeed, a potato. The patient said that her uterus was falling out and that she "put a potato in there to hold it up" and then forgot about it. The most non-emergency ER visit: A male adolescent came in at 2 a.m. with a complaint of belly button lint. A young female came to the ER with lower abdominal pain. During the exam and questioning, the female denied being sexually active. The doctor gave her a pregnancy test anyway and it came back positive. The doctor went back to the young female's room. Doctor: "The results of your pregnancy test came back positive. Are you sure you're not sexually active?" Patient: "Sexually active? No, sir, I just lay there." Doctor: "I see. Well, do you know who the father is?" Patient: "No. Who?" A 92-year old woman had a full cardiac arrest at home and was rushed to the hospital. After about thirty minutes of unsuccessful resuscitation attempts, the old lady was pronounced dead. The doctor went to tell the lady's 78-year old daughter that her mother didn't make it. "Didn't make it? Where could they be? She left in the ambulance forty-five minutes ago!" A 15-year old boy was lying on a stretcher with his mother sitting next to him. The boy was coming down from crank." (methamphetamine) that he had injected into his veins with needles he had been sharing with his friends. Concerned about this the doctor asked the boy if there was anything he might have been doing that put him at risk for AIDS. The boy thought for a while then said questioningly, "I've been scr*wing the dog?" A 19-year old female was asked why she was in the ER. She said that she and her boyfriend were having sex and the condom came off and she wasn't able to retrieve it with her fingers. "Then I went to the bathroom and 'gagged' myself to vomit, but couldn't vomit it up either."
