----- Original Message ----- From: "Marvin Long, Jr." <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: "BRIN-L Mailing list" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Tuesday, July 16, 2002 4:34 PM Subject: RE: Goodbye (was Re: Demanding change (was RE: Mmm, mesquite sm oky goodness (was Re: (~) Please.)))
> On Tue, 16 Jul 2002, J. van Baardwijk wrote: > > > First you make a highly subjective judgement, and then you go on to say I > > should not worry about the proof. See, now *that* is something I find > > worrying. When someone makes that kind of claims, they do that because they > > know they will not be able to provide that proof when asked for it. So, I > > will ask you again: how many of my approx. 2,600 messages to this list > > indicate that I am a "medium level asshole"? > > Not all, I'll grant. It's an intermittent but chronic and recurring > problem. Like herpes sores. That was a good metaphor. :-) > And you're correct to note that it's a highly subjective judgement. It's > a social judgement, which means that not only is it highly subjective, > it's also arbitrary and to a certain degree unfair in its arbitrariness. > A winking pink sphinchter to one person might be a hero to another. Maybe > the majority of Brin-L think you are heroic for punishing them with spam > as a tactic to pressure them into putting pressure on Erik in turn. > > I want civility, but I do not want a list that has a feeling of forced > friendliness while we all walk on eggshells around Mr. Victim. We've > tried that. It doesn't work. It's not fun. The distinction I want to use is the difference between civility and codependancy. I think that both Erik and Jeroen have blurred that line. One does not have to put up with BS to be civil There are very polite and civil ways to refuse to play victim games. One needs not give power to the perp. of such a passive agressive action. One can very politely explain that its all nonsense. I've worked hard to do that. The difficulty is that everyone tends to want the arguement to stop. But, as you pointed out, its a reoccuring problem. All walking on eggshells does is move the boundary at which Jeroen starts whining. It rewards whining. Dan M.
