--- Nick Arnett wrote:
<big snip> 
> Neither of you is the other one's mommy or daddy,
> I'll remind you, at the
> risk of stating the obvious.  We'll all be happier
> if you'll quit making
> demands on each other.  If you have criticism, offer
> it and let it go.
> 
> David Brin is a big believer in the power of
> criticism, but he's not much
> for *demanding* that others change.  Transparency
> and accountability have to
> do with responsibility and community, not blame and
> behavior modification.
> 
> Nick
 
I'm currently reading Brin's _The Transparent Society_
and came across these timely words (pg 166 & 169):

"Today's Internet is plagued by countless individuals
who seem intent on making nuisances of themselves,
flying into abusive, self-righteous tirades known as
"flames."  Electronic conversations seem especially
prone to misinterpretation, suddenly and rapidly
escalating hostility between participants, or else
triggering episodes of sulking silence.  When flame
wars erupt, normally docile people can behave like
mental patients suffering from coprolalia, a version
of Tourette's syndrome.  Typing furiously, they send
impulsive text messages blurting out the first
vituperation that comes to mind, abandoning the
editing process of common courtesy that civilization
took millenia to aquire.  (Hence the fad expression
"Net-Tourette.")...

..."People who sling mud will learn that they must
either back up their accusations or else face
ignominy.  Like the proverbial boy who cried wolf,
they will find themselves isolated. Ignored...In fact,
civility just might make a comeback, after all.  But
not as something exhorted, or enforced from on high. 
Rather, it may return as a natural byproduct as we all
learn to live in this new "commons," a near-future
society where wrath seldom becomes habitual, because
people who lash out soon learn that it simply does not
pay."

He also mentions his fictitious courtesy-worm program
'EmilyPost,' from the novel _Earth_ (which I thought a
somewhat fractured but compelling work)...

Debbi
who thinks that tolerance and courtesy (civility, if
you prefer) are *not* incompatible

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