A 2-fer response
----- Original Message -----
From: "Deborah Harrell" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sent: Thursday, December 05, 2002 10:34 PM
Subject: Re: Admin: Server Access Blocked



> <serious>
> However little 'our' pond is, though, what goes on in
> it is important to 'us' (else why would we spend our
> valuable time participating?) - and this situation has
> been bothering me quite a bit; I just haven't
> articulated my position well enough to post yet.
>
> <grimace>  Partly because I find open conflict very
> difficult - and disturbing - to deal with.  [Duh.]

As you can guess, I'm far different than that.  I cannot stand papering
over a problem, the dynamics of denial, etc.  I've seen too many families
and groups poisoned by conflict that has been left to fester.  I admit, I
married into a case of serious denial (over my wife's father's sexual abuse
of my wife) and maybe I'm a bit sensitive to papering over problems, only
to have them surface again as part of a regular cycle.  IMHO, if you have a
boil, lance it...don't powder it.   Deal with problems and move on.

----- Original Message -----
From: "Steve Sloan II" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sent: Thursday, December 05, 2002 10:52 PM
Subject: Re: Admin: Server Access Blocked

> Me too. In the chat yesterday, I promised to write an email
> that would at least *attempt* to smooth things over. I've
> been working on it all day, and I'm still not satisfied
> with it. Maybe I'll finish it up tomorrow...


But, this pattern Jeroen has shown has been repeated with greater intensity
for the past two years.  It has finally escalated into an attack with RL
consequences.  Given his use of violent images to express his anger towards
group members, including a serious suggestion of suicide as a good option
for one member, what is there to "smooth over?"  One list member has shown
repeatedly highly inappropriate behavior, others have acted fairly
reasonably.  IMHO, Nick is bending over backwards by not taking stronger
steps to ensure the safety of his network.

If you think that I'm wrong, I'd be happy to see why and how things should
be done differently.

Dan M.




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