----- Original Message ----- From: "Doug Pensinger" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: "Killer Bs Discussion" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Friday, November 14, 2003 9:44 PM Subject: Re: christian dreams of murder...
> Just out of curiosity, if someone posted a fantasy about molesting a > child, saying that the darker parts of his mind imagined it but explaining > carefully that he would never advocate such a thing and why, would that be > just OK? > About 10 years ago I was supposed to be married to someone who I thought was the most wonderful woman I had ever met. My love for her was powerfully unreserved and I *knew* with the utmost certainty that our life was going to be as "happily ever after" as was possible to be. 10 days before the wedding she dumped me, flushed me, took me for over 4 grand, slandered me at every turn, and made sure that I knew that she had been screwing someone else the whole time we were together. To say that my bubble burst would be an understatement, unless the bubble was my entire world and every bit of self confidence I had ever possessed. I wasn't a kid at the time, I was 35 or so, and still the entire universe crashed down on me as if I were some naive and gullible teenager. As the reality of the situation set in over a few weeks, I began to hate. And this woman is the only person I have ever had a personal hatred for. So all the potential hate of a lifetime was focused upon this one detested woman. With this hate came revenge fantasies. Sick, perverse, and ugly. I would dream of horrific acts performed upon her by me personally. I think that in some way, I wanted to destroy her as a person. A revenge upon her for the way I felt about myself. So I'm wondering if the things I was feeling and thinking at that time are all that different from the things Doug is describing? It is frightening to know with some degree of certainty some of the bad things that lurk deep in my spirit (or whathaveyou). xponent Sadistic Pleasures Maru rob _______________________________________________ http://www.mccmedia.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l
