Hi Lenny, You are caught in the never-ending support to these people. $100.00 a month falling from the sky is very helpful for any family, regardless of its size. Many people are breaking their back for $50.00 (of some 60 hours/week hard-laboring work) in a factory.
While I appreciate your good intention, I think you do more harm than help by not teaching these people the values of hard work. I doubt that you can get this $100.00 from a Canadian tree; you work for it, don’t you? Cambodian society now is a society dominated by “beggars” where many people expect special handouts from people like you and others who are heartbroken from seeing their poverty and injustices in Cambodia. They love you to death when you feed them freely, but at the moment that you stop helping them or putting any conditions on them, it’s almost certain that you will become their foe overnight. If this will happen, please don’t be disappointed. Just think that it was an unconditional love that you have for them. Such thought may set you free, but that is what they are banking on. 100 years from now, these people will still begging for free contributions. There are so many tricks and lies (I have no ideas where they learned them from) to break your heart. Some use sickness, diseases and family’s problems to beg; some use social or political injustices to request your assistance; others just create their personal lies. It happens throughout the country and in all institutions. It is a cancer in Cambodian modern society. Government is looking for handouts; politicians are also looking for handouts and NGOs, too, are looking for handouts; and much of contributions have been abused. When is it going to end? One Cambodian lives near me here in New York was notified by his siblings in Cambodia that his mother had died two times on different dates. Before knowing that he was being deceived, the man had depleted his savings and cash from his credit card. Yes, Cambodians need help, but they must work… and prove that they “do work.” The value of your free assistance is worth as much as free thing; it equal to nothing in the long run. Move on, you have done enough. ============ On May 16, 1:44 am, Len Graceffo <rosedalepa...@hotmail.com> wrote: > Hello Everybody!!! I really need some advice. Please read the following > correspondences with my friend Shelly in Canada. I've been told by foreigners > living in Cambodia that the poor can't go to bed with money in their pocket > as they're programmed to a "day to day" survival mentality. I'm a Canadian > who has been giving $100.00 U.S./month for the last 2 years to a family of 7 > (5 kids). That's about $157.00 CDN with the exchange and western union fees > that they don't seem to understand. The mother can't read I found out as I > was pointing to the months written in Khmer in my translation book and she > didn't understand. But she knows her numbers !!! The attractive, intelligent > 17 year old girl "Mach" lives in Krawlann,Siem Reap behind the market in a > shack off of National Rd #6 at the intersection of the road that goes north > to O'Smach. My recent trip a month ago revealed that food prices are a lot > higher than Thailand's. Why? A skinny whole chicken cost 150 baht !!! I've > been told that university educated people don't earn $100.00/month U.S. I > don't want her ending up in prostitution as she's the eldest daughter. They > keep asking for more money and its making me angry. Can't they just accept > $100.00 U.S and be grateful? This time it's to "make rice" up at the family > farm in Samrong. I told the parents that they can do whatever they want with > the money as long as Mach is in English school for the half day I believe and > the other half in Khmer. I've just told her a few days ago I want her needs > met and to tell her mother that $50.00/month is for Mach and the other 50 is > for the family. I give $100.00U.S./month to cover any lost wages since Mach > is supposed to be studying. I really like her Dad Pin. He's a driver/farmer > apparently and seems to work the Krawlann/Samrong/Anlong Veng triangle. With > all those kids is it possible to save money out of that $100.00U.S. I'm lost. > I feel like cutting them off or reducing it to $50.00/month Please advise, > Lenny G > > From: rosedalepa...@hotmail.com > To: rosedalepa...@hotmail.com > Subject: FW: clip > Date: Fri, 15 May 2009 23:48:34 -0500 > > Date: Thu, 14 May 2009 10:02:14 -0600 > Subject: Re: clip > From: slstewar...@gmail.com > To: rosedalepa...@hotmail.com > > Hi Sweetie, > I am so sorry how things have gone side ways with Mach and her family. You > are quite right when you say how sad for them. However, they will learn the > age old lesson of, you don't know what you've got til its gone! I am glad > you have made peace with your self. Len, you are a very loving and generous > man who just wants to make a difference. Please don't let this change that > wonderful quality that so few people possess. In saying that I know you will > move on and learn from it. Lots of Love Shelley > > PS. Do You have an idea when you will be home? > > On Thu, May 14, 2009 at 12:09 AM, Len Graceffo <rosedalepa...@hotmail.com> > wrote: > > I've really sorted things out in my soul. My Cambo daughter keeps asking for > more money as I hear her ungrateful mother in the background coach her. To > the mothers credit she did offer to send me back the $600.00 I sent her > "sick" son about 6 months ago. She didn't know that her son pressured Mach > into lying to me. I knew the 18 yr old son Gia just wanted a cell phone and > money He used his younger sister to ask me. I don't know if I told you that > or not. I didn't care at the time because they're so poor and I didn't want > Western Union getting any more of my money. I found out this trip that he was > arrested by the police for geting in a fight with the village gangster whom > he owed money and he gave them $ 500.00 and bought a cell phone. I took him > aside that if he ever pulls that again I'm going to Phnom Phen to hire a > hitman to kill him and the village gangster. I am obviously dealing with a > child soldier/labour camp mentality that doesn't have the capacity for > gratitude. How unfortunate for them as I'm cutting them off after June. The > way they prey on the daughter to get them to do their bidding. What else can > she do? I feel that I've made peace with my conscience and will now live life > on life's terms and just concentrate on my own life as I can't help > everybody. How sad for them. I will direct my money to the green gecko > orphanage which I visited and seen the tangible results. Thanx for listening, > Lenny > > Date: Sun, 10 May 2009 21:24:07 -0600 > Subject: Fwd: FW: clip > From: slstewar...@gmail.com > To: kswe...@telus.net; rosedalepa...@hotmail.com > > > > ---------- Forwarded message ---------- > > Really an unbelievable video...thought you should see it. I could do without > the well-worn sound tract, tho'. > No virus found in this incoming message. > Checked by AVG -www.avg.com > Version: 8.0.238 / Virus Database: 270.12.21/2101 - Release Date: 05/07/09 > 18:05:00 > > Create a cool, new character for your Windows Live™ Messenger. Check it out > > Internet Explorer 8 makes surfing easier. Get it now! > _________________________________________________________________ > Windows Live helps you keep up with all your friends, in one > place.http://go.microsoft.com/?linkid=9660826- Hide quoted text - > > - Show quoted text - --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Cambodia Discussion (CAMDISC) - www.cambodia.org" group. This is an unmoderated forum. Please refrain from using foul language. Thank you for your understanding. Peace among us and in Cambodia. 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