Captain Beeky wrote: > Blimey, can you revert to Fortran please ?
Sorry old chap, it all happened in a wild moment whilst I was having a minuscule fit of hysteria after your earlier post :) <By 'eck lad, twas it ye a'sittin' int' carn'r o' moi lokil las' Sundae then? "> Really should have read: "Golly gosh young man; were you the handsome gentleman wearing the knee breeches and the brown leather riding boots, by which I mean the one reclining on the chaise-longue that is to be found in the far corner of the Saloon Bar of my local hostelry, on this Sunday past?" <T' ol' 'un wie t' 'alf o' bit'er shundy a'mumblin' awa inta thy mug, 'n' thy plat'er o' col' chish and fips?> Whilst the above ought to have been written thus: "The slightly distinguished, and rather elderly, gentleman enjoying a fine glass of Best Bitter between eating those dainty portions of lightly poached salmon, as are served up so well in that same hostelry, and invariably on a delicately patterned, fine bone china platter, together with seasonal vegetables and a side serving of extremely thinly cut French Fries?" <Oi'm sorry tha' oi didnae recognise thee ther'; ye shuld 'a' ris'f thensel a'fra ya bench 'n' intraduc'd theesen' ta me :(> Obviously ought to have conveyed the following message: "I do beg your pardon, most gracious Sir, a thousand apologies for the error of my ways; of course, I know now I ought to have recognised your Eminence immediately - there is no excuse worthy of the name for failing, so abjectly, to recognise you from the first moment you rested your tired leg upon the settee. Sir, I beg you should have corrected my misdemeanour immediately, arisen from your seat and roundly horsewhipped me so that, the next time that I saw you, I could not fail to administer due honours to your personage most immediately! That Your Eminence should also have noted that my ruff was full to the top with the scrambled Goose eggs from breakfast (which I had, most shamefully I do now admit, intended to save to eat at my lunch) has filled me with the greatest despair - although the matter of the box, that swung about my knees on a short string from my belt, was due solely to the urgent needs of a certain pretty, and obviously buxom, young serving wench, only a few moments beforehand one who had the great misfortune to burst suddenly from her bodice and was thus in great need of the greater part of my lacing." Trevor - hoping that this might be the end of the matter <g> Cap'n Beeky had written, in an even earlier message: PS - my underlying view is that it is up to the originator to choose how he/she wishes to present his/her contribution. Ignoring protocols is their affair. If folks want to go "down the pub" with egg on their collars and flies akimbo the locals will draw their own conclusions. [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
