> Dana wrote:
> OK so. NOW I find a transcript. Check out Jackie Rhodes, who says
> Michael was abusive, and Terri was crying the day before her collapse,
> apparently because Michael was furious she got her hair done.
> 

Well, you're right in that I probably won't change my mind for the
following reasons:

1.) I think you're innocent until proven guilty  which is to say he
has a presumption of innocence from me.

2.) I believe in guardians so I think unless you can disqualify him,
he speaks as if he were her.

3.) His care for her, and tenacity for a position, show me that he
loved her and has a clear idea of what they, as a couple, would have
wanted.

4.) There were 3 court appointed guardians and years of trial that all
him to be acting in good faith.

5.) Anecdotal evidence of fights or whatever proves nothing.  My wife
an I have fights all of the time and there's times when, frankly, I'm
not very nice.  I'm sure I've displaced anger onto all kinds of minor
events and I know she's been upset plenty.  But then that swings both
ways.

Marriage is all about control!  It's 2 people trying to heal each
other's emotional wounds and find an equilibrium with their
preferences, habits, and dreams.  To think that's no going to cause
some drama is nuts - at least with my personality!

I would change my mind if there was a pattern of medical treatment due
to beatings, or if her friends said she was constantly fearful to
leave the house - something like that.

In fact, the claim that she was leaving or moving out mostly says she
probably wasn't abused.  In the end I find no pattern of facts to show
that he was any more abusive that any other human in a marriage.

Maybe that's the difference - you'll hoist the abuse flag at the
slightest suggestion whereas I consider "marriage" to mean a constant
low level of abuse :)

"Hold on ... what honey?  Clean the garage?  But I'm checking email. 
Clean it now or you're going to egg my car?  ok, ok.  Jeez, you don't
have to get abusive."

Put another way, (in the voice of droopy) "yes, dear".

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