Nathan,
I wish that I could say that I know what you're going through. I
have not had to face the type of adversity in my life that you are
facing in yours. I've had my personal battles, as we all have, and I
can only draw from those experiences to offer something that I can only
hope and pray can provide some sense of comfort and hope. I know that
you feel that you're at the end of your rope, but you've got to tie a
knot and just hang on because believe it or not help is on the way.
You've just got to hang on long enough for it to get there. I can say
that because I've had to tie that knot several times in my life and sure
enough, help came. It always has in one form or another. If you don't
tie that knot, you'll slip off and none of us here want that to happen.
But getting help takes time and effort and a willingness on your part to
accept it and to even seek it out. It takes a tremendous amount of
faith to do that. Faith that it will come and that it will help. The
fact that you go to church tells me that you have some faith. You may
have seen this story before, but it has always helped me remember that
God is always there.
"FOOTPRINTS One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along
the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; one
belonging to him, the other to the LORD. When the last scene of his life
flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He
noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one
set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest
and saddest times of his life. This really bothered him and he
questioned the LORD about it. �LORD you said that once I decided to
follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that
during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of
footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would
leave me.� The LORD replied, �My precious, precious child, I love
you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and
suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I
carried you.�
He is carrying you now Nathan. You have to let him help you. You have
to let him help you find the strength that you need to make the changes
in your life happen. He will not do it for you. We have free will.
You can accept it or you can deny it. It's up to YOU!! This list, all
of us here are here for a reason. Not just to know when to use pound
signs or the pros and cons of CF, but for greater reasons. You reached
out to us and we are reaching back.
First, get your spirit back. Get your heart, mind, and soul healthy and
I know that the rest will follow. When I had to get myself healthy I
turned to my faith. That may not be the way for you. You may need to
seek out a therapist to get help managing the stress and pain. It's
overwhelming, I know. But you've got to get the tools necessary to help
you. This is where you have to be proactive and open. Hands are being
extended, it's up to you to grab them.
Tell everyone that is close to you how much you love them. Tell your
wife how much she means to you. Tell her how she saved you and
protected you and let her love save you and protect you again. Tell
your parents that all of their efforts raising you were not in vain.
Tell them that the lessons that they taught you helped you in so many
ways that they can't even be counted. Let those lessons help you now.
Let your children know how much you love them. They would probably like
to hear it.
Love is a powerful sword. Yield it mightily to fight off the demons
that hound you. By extending your love to those around you, it helps
them to feel love and empowers them to help them in their fight against
their demons.
If there is anything that I can ever do to help you, feel free to
contact me. Even if you just need someone to talk to that "doesn't know
you." E-mail me off list or contact me at my work number below. I would
be more than willing to help you.
Good luck and keep your head up,
Michael Corrigan
Programmer
Endora Digital Solutions
www.endoradigital.com
630/942-5211 x-134
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