I wasn't trying to say that a single mother is a _good_ situation - just that family dynamics are complicated, and that in larger families things can be even more complicated.
My mom used to work for child protective services. The court's party-line was that removing kids from homes should be a last resort. Because of that, she saw kids that were too young to consistently testify, being forced to stay with parents that she knew abused them - burned by cigarettes, molested, etc. Statistically, most abusers come from abusive families. So, an extended family situation would most likely just mean more adults to abuse the kids. There's definitely a difference between extended family and intentional communities - and I'm only speaking to the general concept of your family (and really only to the info that you've shared - that your dad was abusive and that your mom was an enabler of that abuse). What it sounds like, to me, is that you wanted a _different_ family. I haven't done any extensive reading on intentional communities. What little I've done is intriguing. There used to be a large one not so far from here - it was an artist's community. Of course, I can't remember the name of it. Harumph. As to your comments about bedrooms getting smaller - that's odd - new houses here have big bedrooms and lots of them. I wonder if it's a regional thing.... On 7/28/05, S. Isaac Dealey <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > Well, if someone was going around cleaning up your > > father's landfill instead of say, kicking his ass > > out of the house, said someone would be just another > > member of a rather dysfunctional family, playing > > the typical role of caretaker. > > > No offense intended - but I'm just trying to point > > out that maybe what you needed was not more family, > > but less family. > > I'm not going to argue that a single mother is worse than an abusive > nuclear family, because I know that's not always the case... but I > don't think that one person in a nuclear family being abusive can be > justification to believe that a single mother is a _good_ situation > for a child to grow up with. There's a significant difference between > a better situation and a good situation. I prefer to advocate a good > situation rather than advocate a situation that is simply less evil. > > I'll respond to the other comments later... headed home for the day > right now. > > Thank you for taking the time to respond to the thread. > > > s. isaac dealey 954.522.6080 > new epoch : isn't it time for a change? > > add features without fixtures with > the onTap open source framework > > http://www.fusiontap.com > http://coldfusion.sys-con.com/author/4806Dealey.htm > > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| Find out how CFTicket can increase your company's customer support efficiency by 100% http://www.houseoffusion.com/banners/view.cfm?bannerid=49 Message: http://www.houseoffusion.com/lists.cfm/link=i:5:167198 Archives: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/threads.cfm/5 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/lists.cfm/link=s:5 Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=11502.10531.5 Donations & Support: http://www.houseoffusion.com/tiny.cfm/54
