> I wasn't trying to say that a single mother is a > _good_ situation - just that family dynamics are > complicated, and that in larger families > things can be even more complicated.
Granted... But speaking in generalities, I suspect that it's easier for an abuse cycle to exist, continue and grow in environments with fewer people and so while some larger families do breed these things, I'm thinking it's more common amongst nuclear families. > My mom used to work for child protective services. > The court's party-line was that removing kids from > homes should be a last resort. Because of that, > she saw kids that were too young to consistently > testify, being forced to stay with parents that > she knew abused them - burned by cigarettes, > molested, etc. Since Hillary Clinton CPS workers now receive bonuses for each child taken out of the home. You can imagine the end result. > Statistically, most abusers come from > abusive families. So, an extended family > situation would most likely just mean more > adults to abuse the kids. I would think bulls would want to create an environment for themselves with less competition and fewer people who could potentially squeal. > There's definitely a difference between extended > family and intentional communities - and I'm only > speaking to the general concept of your family > (and really only to the info that you've shared > - that your dad was abusive and that your mom > was an enabler of that abuse). You'll get no argument from me on that... My mother actually passed down what she got from my father to me, as best we can tell because I shared his Y chromosome. I promptly repressed most of it. I do still remember being so terrified of my mother that by age 16 when I was already much larger and stronger than she was that I ran screaming, wet and naked across the house because she threatened to spank me as I was getting out of the shower. I remember one other time having a conversation with my mother (several years prior -- I think I was about 8 or 10) in which she asked me why it was that I didn't like spending time with and talking with her... gee, I wonder why. :) > What it sounds like, to me, is that you wanted a > _different_ family. Yes, but I also wanted a bigger family. I had one for 6 weeks during the summers. So unlike a lot of people in situations similar to mine I did end up with a formative experience which contituted a basis of comparison to contrast the experience of living abused and alone and living with a large loving family. I know there's not a 1 to 1 relationship between them (i.e. nuclear family!=abusive), but I'm inclined to believe that there are contributing factors which make them more than 50%/50% likely to coincide. > I haven't done any extensive reading on intentional > communities. What little I've done is intriguing. > There used to be a large one not so far from here > - it was an artist's community. Of course, I > can't remember the name of it. Harumph. It's not this one: http://directory.ic.org/records/?action=view&page=view&record_id=738 Although it looks like a really nice place. :) I'm sure it's not Zendik either, as they're on the other side of the lakes. I'm sure a lot of communities don't end up being indexed by the FIC. > As to your comments about bedrooms getting > smaller - that's odd - new houses here have > big bedrooms and lots of them. I wonder > if it's a regional thing.... It must be... In the places I've seen in Florida and TX and several other people I've talked to, you're the first person to contradict the shrinking bedroom trend. Must be a nice place to start an intentional community actually... I had a problem with my mail client yesterday after the last reply and it ate the last email you sent... I'll see if I can dig it up on the archives -- or if you could resend, that'd help. :) s. isaac dealey 954.522.6080 new epoch : isn't it time for a change? add features without fixtures with the onTap open source framework http://www.fusiontap.com http://coldfusion.sys-con.com/author/4806Dealey.htm ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| Get the mailserver that powers this list at http://www.houseoffusion.com/banners/view.cfm?bannerid=17 Message: http://www.houseoffusion.com/lists.cfm/link=i:5:167213 Archives: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/threads.cfm/5 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/lists.cfm/link=s:5 Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=11502.10531.5 Donations & Support: http://www.houseoffusion.com/tiny.cfm/54
