Apocryphal, but interesting none-the-less:

Who's that knocking on the door?
A Buddhist's Guide to Evangelical Christianity
By Ven. Dhammika

About six months ago there was a knock on
my door and I opened it to find two evangelical
Christians there. I knew they were evangel-
icals because they had that fake friendly sickly
smile on their faces, which all evangelicals
have when they are trying to convert someone.

This was the third time that month that evan-
gelists had come knocking on my door and
disturbing me so I decided to teach them
a lesson. 'Good morning' they said. 'Good
morning' I replied.

'Have you heard about the Lord Jesus Christ'?
they asked. 'I know something about him but
I am a Buddhist and I'm not really interested
in knowing more' I said. But like all evan-
gelists, they took no notice of my wishes
and proceeded to talk about their beliefs.

So I said, 'I don't think you are qualified
to speak to me about Jesus'. They looked very
astonished and asked, 'Why not'? 'Because',
I said, 'you have no faith'. 'Our faith in
Jesus is as strong as a rock' they insisted.
'I don't think it is' I said with a smile.

'Please open your Bible and read the Gospel
of Mark, chapter 16, verse 16, 17 and 18' I
said and while they flicked through their
Bibles I went quickly inside & came out again.
One of them found the passage and I asked
him to read it out loud. It said, 'He who
believes and is baptized will be saved but
he who does not believe shall be condemned.
And these signs will follow those who believe
in my name. They shall cast out devils, they
shall speak in tongues, they will handle snakes
and if they drink poison it will not hurt
them and they will lay hands on the sick and
they will recover'.

When he finished I said, 'In that passage
Jesus says that if you have real faith you will
be able to drink poison and not die'. I took
a bottle of Lankem from behind my back, held
it up and said, 'Here is some poison. Demon-
strate to me the strength of your faith and I
will listen to anything you have to say about
Jesus'.

You should have seen the looks on their faces!
They didn't know what to say. 'What's the
problem'? I asked. 'Is your faith not strong
enough'? They hesitated for a few moments and
then one of them replied, 'The Bible also says
that we must not test God'. 'I'm not testing God',
I said, 'I'm testing you. You love to witness
for Jesus and now is your big opportunity'.
Finally one of then said, 'We will go and
speak to our pastor about this matter and come
back and see you. 'I'll be waiting for you'
I said as they scurried away.

Of course they never came back again.

Here is a bit of advice. Keep a copy of this
Bible reference and a bottle of Lankem ready
and every time the evangelists come to your
door to harass you give them this test. You
might like to have a polanga ready as well.
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