> As you are Mr. Tibbles press secretary, is there any truth to the
> rumors
> that Mr. Tibbles has accepted unusually large campaign donations from
> certain un-named cat food companies?

THIS IS AN INSULT AND AN OUTRAGE!

Do you have something against mixed-breed cats, Mr. Stewart?  I thought
America was mostly past this kind of thinking, but apparently Mr. Stewart is
more comfortable with his "old world ways" that the rest of us have shrugged
off.

It's not enough that you are a feline racist who focuses all his hate on one
innocent kitten -- recently wounded in combat, mind you -- it's that you
turn a blind eye to the *DOGS* who regularly enjoy treats from the dog food
companies: kibbles AS WELL AS bits, bones, chewy treats so large that cats
are entirely prevented from enjoying them, and swanky trips to the Caribbean
in Alpo's private Gulfstream V, where sources tell me the canine flight
attendants are not only underage, they aren't even spayed.  This is
*despicable*.

So before you go asking about whether Tibbles did this or Tibbles did that,
why don't you and your racist redneck cronies turn the spotlight on your own
selves and the dogs you serve.

We'll see you at the debate, sir.

Respectfully,

Adam Phillip Churvis 
President
Productivity Enhancement



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