OMG, I just received the following in my mailbox. Too Funny. Howard, should I become the first athiest ordained minister?
----- Original Message ----- From: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Monday, April 08, 2002 5:34 AM Subject: Considering Ordination? We can assist you. > STREET BISHOPS, a U.S. based international ministry, wants to ordain you. This is a genuine outreach to enable those who want to serve an opportunity to do so. More than 170 men and women around the world have joined Street Bishops in changing lives, you can too. > > STREET BISHOPS believes that ordination should be given to all who ask. One of the benefits of being a LEGAL member of the clergy is that you will be authorized to perform the rites and ceremonies of the church. They include: > > WEDDINGS - You can earn part-time income officiating marriages on weekends. Couples are searching for a wedding officiates. Most states require that you register your certificate (THAT WE SEND YOU) prior to conducting the ceremony. Some pastors work full-time as a wedding officiate, so can you! And we'll put you in our database of officiates which receives thousands of requests for ordained ministers! > > FUNERALS - The simple fact is that people die every day, providing a never-ending need for funeral officiates. > > BAPTISMS - What a special way to welcome a child of God. As millions return to church and desire these official ceremonies, you are there to assist them! This adds to your part or full time income as a minister! > > PRISON MINISTRIES - Since you will be a Certified Minister, you can visit others in need. Assist those who are ready to CHANGE their lives - You can play a major part in that decision! > > HOSPITAL MINISTRIES - As an ordained clergy, you can be listed with most hospitals and conduct a successful hospital ministry. > > WANT TO START YOUR OWN CHURCH? After your ordination, you may start your own congregation! We can offer much assistance as you begin your new place of worship. > > APOSTOLIC SUCCESSION? Yes! Once accepted through our ministry, we will, at no additional admin fee, pass your file onto an independent Catholic order for consideration. > > WHAT ARE PEOPLE SAYING? "You are truly an answer to prayer for myself and for hundreds, if not thousands, of men who have been frustrated with constitution, laws, and by-laws of most denominations who have denied brethren who have answered the call of God." - Colorado Springs, Colorado. "We've been wanting to take communion during the weeks we are without a Priest, and now we are able to do that." - Greenwith, Australia > > WHAT IS REQUIRED? That you intend to become ordained to honestly bring love, understanding, peace, comfort, compassion, and forgiveness to the world. No degrees needed, no hoops to jump through, no restrictions on gender or any other ridiculous hurdle. Promise to honor God and that is all that's required. > > YOU RECEIVE a professionally printed 8-inch by 10-inch color certificate and Letter of Ordination/Proof of Minister Certification in your name. We pay the U.S. shipping. For Shipping OUTSIDE the U.S. please add $15.00. > > NEWSLETTER. You will also begin receiving our helpful newsletter with advice and answers as you begin your new ministry. This is what makes us very different from the others; we provide support along with the credentials. > > THE STREET BISHOP goal is to make this life changing step easy and affordable so average folks like you can benefit from the advantages of being ordained, and you can be enabled to serve others. The administrative costs for processing the ordination is only $29.00. > > FAX: To place your order by fax, complete the following form and fax to 1-413-487-7457, or use postal mail. > > MAIL: For Cash, Check, or Money Order, complete the form below, make your check payable to "TSG" and mail to > > Ordination Committee Chair > 3206 South Hopkins Ave, #89 > Titusville, Florida 32780 U.S.A. > > The committee meets every other day, all applications processed within 3 days of receiving them. > > Check all that apply: > > __________ $29.00 admin fee for your Ordination Certificate/Credentials > __________ $15.00 for International Shipping (if outside the US, $6 if in Canada) > __________ Optional: $19 for personalized, laminated ID Badge with Lapel Clip > __________ Optional: $15 for "Burch Liturgies", more than a dozen full-length ceremonies for Baptism, Marriage, Funerals, Etc. > > (Please print very clearly in dark ink) > > ---------------- Ordination Information ------------------------0317 > > Name of Applicant: > > Academic Degree (if any): > > Address: > > City, State, Zip Code: > > Phone Number: > > Email Address: > > Religion: > > Denomination (if any): > > Preferred Title: (example Reverend, Pastor, Priest, etc.): > > Ministry Area(s) of Interest (Congregational, Hospital, Prison, Marriage Officiating, etc): > > Website (if any): > > Although not required, by sending us a one-page writing of why you are seeking Ordination, you will guide us in supporting you in your ministry. > > ------------ If Paying Fee By Credit Card Use This orm ---------------------------- > > Name on Credit Card: > > Address: > > City/State/ZIP: > > Your email address: > > Type of Card, circle one: Visa MasterCard Discover > (Sorry, no American Express.) > > Credit Card Number: > > Date Credit Card Expires: > > Phone Number: > > Fax Number: > > ------------------------------------------------------ > To be removed from our mailing list, fax address to 1-313-557-2776. Our understanding at the time of this mailing is that this is a legal form of marketing, similar to postal mail. Evidence otherwise is encouraged and requested via fax. We are doing our best to exclude those individuals who do not desire to receive materials of this type. Thank you for your consideration. ______________________________________________________________________ Your ad could be here. Monies from ads go to support these lists and provide more resources for the community. http://www.fusionauthority.com/ads.cfm Archives: http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/index.cfm?sidebar=lists
