What a crack-up!!

-Ben

> Its gives a whole new meaning to the term "No ifs ands or butts"
> 
> larry
> 
> --
> Larry C. Lyons
> ColdFusion/Web Developer
> Certified Advanced ColdFusion 5 Developer
> EBStor.com
> 8870 Rixlew Lane, Suite 204
> Manassas, Virginia 20109-3795
> tel:   (703) 393-7930
> fax:   (703) 393-2659
> Web:   http://www.ebstor.com
> email: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done.
> --
> 
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Kevin Gilchrist [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
> > Sent: Tuesday, July 09, 2002 3:08 PM
> > To: CF-Community
> > Subject: FW: groping the future (fwd)
> > 
> > 
> > I wonder if a spanking would throw the reading?
> > 
> > way out there ! heh heh! 
> > 
> > Blind Psychic Gropes Buttocks to See Future
> > Tue Jul 9,11:55 AM ET
> > By Nick Tattersall
> > 
> > BERLIN (Reuters) - Forget palm-reading. A blind German psychic claimed
> > Tuesday he could read people's futures by feeling their naked 
> > buttocks.
> > 
> > 
> > Clairvoyant Ulf Buck, 39, claims that people's backsides have 
> > lines like
> > those on the palm of the hand, which can be read to reveal much about
> > their
> > character and destiny.
> > 
> > "The bottom is much more intense -- it has a much stronger power of
> > expression than the hand in my experience," Buck told 
> > Reuters. "It goes
> > on
> > developing throughout your life."
> > 
> > By running his fingers along a number of lines on the surface of a
> > client's
> > posterior, he says he can tell them about their future 
> > monetary success,
> > family life, health and happiness.
> > 
> > He says lines representing success, career and artistic ability extend
> > inwards from the outer extremities of the buttocks, while a 
> > further five
> > lines radiate outwards.
> > 
> > "I began on a circle of friends and the circle grew," Buck said. "I am
> > not a
> > new-age freak. I treat people with great care and conscientiousness."
> > 
> > Buck, who lives in the northern village of Meldorf, northwest of
> > Hamburg,
> > says all types come to him to have their bottoms read.
> > 
> > He sees his blindness as a great asset, not least because it means
> > customers
> > do not risk having their identities revealed.
> > 
> > "All sorts come, from cleaning ladies and secretaries to prominent
> > members
> > of the community. For them, my being blind is an advantage 
> > because I can
> > do
> > it without recognizing them again in the future." Buck has been blind
> > since
> > the age of three.
> > 
> > Although he claims to have spent many years training his fingers, with
> > his
> > index and middle fingers the most sensitive, Buck says even amateur
> > buttock
> > readers can make a broad-brush assessment of people's personalities.
> > 
> > "An apple-shaped, muscular bottom indicates someone who is 
> > charismatic,
> > dynamic, very confident and often creative. A person who enjoys life,"
> > he
> > said. "A pear-shaped bottom suggests someone very steadfast, 
> > patient and
> > down-to-earth."
> > 
> > He is quick to shoot down any suggestion that his buttock 
> > groping might
> > be
> > motivated by anything other than a genuine desire to probe people's
> > futures.
> > 
> > "I do not need to feel bottoms for my own pleasure. My wife is quite
> > beautiful enough for me," he said.
> > 
> > Buck is reluctant to speak about his successes, but says he correctly
> > predicted an actress from a popular German soap-opera was 
> > going to write
> > a
> > book, and says a stockbroker has been using his services for over two
> > years.
> > 
> > "No stockbroker would keep asking a blind clairvoyant to tell 
> > them about
> > future stock prices if they didn't believe I could to it," he said.
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> 
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