Resistance was futile.
bb
> From another of my lists I'm on.:
>
>Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your..."
>
>Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order."
>
>Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"
>
>Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's
>6102049998-45-54610."
>
>Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive,
>and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln
>Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Which number are you
>calling from, sir?"
>
>Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"
>
>Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."
>
>Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat
>Special pizzas..."
>
>Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
>
>Customer: "Whaddya mean?"
>
>Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high
>blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National! Health Care
>provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."
>
>Customer: "Damn. What do you recommend, then?"
>
>Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure you'll
>like it"
>
>Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"
>
>Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local
>library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."
>
>Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.
>What's the damage?"
>
>Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir.
>The 'damage,' as you put it, heh, heh, comes $49.99."
>
>Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."
>
>Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your
>credit card balance is over its limit."
>
>Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver
>gets here."
>
>Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn."
>
>Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How
>long will it take?"
>
>Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes,
>sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out
>getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little
>awkward."
>
>Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"
>
>Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car
>got repoed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed that you'd be
>using it."
>
>Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!"
>
>Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a
>July 2003 conviction for cussing out a cop."
>
>Customer: (Speechless)
>
>Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"
>
>Customer: "No, nothing. oh, yeah, don't forget the two free liters of Coke
>your ad says I get with the pizzas."
>
>Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from
>offering free soda to diabetics
>--
>
>Larry C. Lyons
>
>========================================================
>Life is Complex. It has both real and imaginary parts.
>========================================================
>Chaos, Panic and Disorder. My work here is done.
[Todays Threads] [This Message] [Subscription] [Fast Unsubscribe] [User Settings]
