----- Original Message -----
From: Jim Campbell
To: CF-Community
Sent: Wednesday, March 24, 2004 9:42 AM
Subject: Re: County in Oregon Bans all Marriages!
Though my wife and I aren't Catholic, we were married in a Catholic
ceremony (whole other story), and before the diocese would agree to
perform the ceremony, we had to go to a compulsory weekend-long "Engaged
Encounter". It was interesting, to say the least. Its purpose was to
make sure each partner was comfortable with the other, and knew what
they were getting into. Probably for the same purpose as what Tennessee
is requiring - cutting down on divorce.
There were some different programs, some speakers talking about serious
problems they had in their marriages (and let me tell you, those Vegas
hookers sure are prominent antagonists), that sort of thing. We had
some activities with our partners and separate from them, we talked
about our futures, and - my favorite part:
The priest who was overseeing the ordeal was telling us about how
important it was to have children and never use birth control. He got
to "Onanism" and decried it as an equally unnatural form of birth
control. A person in the group asked him what that was, since she'd
never heard of it. The priest was suddenly stammering like Rumsfeld on
"Meet the Press" - "It's um... well... the man... you see. He um, when
he reaches that, er, well... When he reaches that climactic moment and
um... well... he umm..."
It was 3:00 in the morning. I was exhausted and annoyed. I helped him
finish his sentence.
"EJACULATES!"
Everyone in the room gasps. The priest looks at me, horrified.
"EJACULATES!" I repeated. "Onanism is pulling out and shooting your
big, hot load all over you partner, otherwise known as 'The Money Shot',
or 'A Pearl Necklace' if your partner happens to be performing orally on
you, which is also, by the way, a nasty sin. And keep it out of her
butt, too. God hates that."
We adjourned for the night. I'm going to hell. We'll have be married 6
years this August.
- Jim
Dan Phillips wrote:
>I got married in Tennessee this winter and read an interesting rule they
>have. If you live instate, you have to attend compatability classes
>before the state will allow you to get married. These classes are
>similar to those that churches sometimes give before they will preform a
>ceremony. If you live outside of the state, you are exempt from the
>rule. I'm guess they may be trying to control the divorce rate or
>something similar. Can anyone confirm this or provide more info?
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: Sandy Clark [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>Sent: Wednesday, March 24, 2004 9:42 AM
>To: CF-Community
>Subject: County in Oregon Bans all Marriages!
>
>
>http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/West/03/23/marriage.ban.reut/index.html
>
>PORTLAND, Oregon (Reuters) -- In a new twist in the battle over same-sex
>marriage roiling the United States, a county in Oregon has banned all
>marriages -- gay and heterosexual -- until the state decides who can and
>who
>cannot wed.
>
>Sounds fair to me.
> _____
>
>
>
>
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