Did he cover his ears and start chanting "I can't hear you, na na na na na na na na - must block sexual thoughts"?
>Though my wife and I aren't Catholic, we were married in a Catholic
>ceremony (whole other story), and before the diocese would agree to
>perform the ceremony, we had to go to a compulsory weekend-long "Engaged
>Encounter". It was interesting, to say the least. Its purpose was to
>make sure each partner was comfortable with the other, and knew what
>they were getting into. Probably for the same purpose as what Tennessee
>is requiring - cutting down on divorce.
>
>There were some different programs, some speakers talking about serious
>problems they had in their marriages (and let me tell you, those Vegas
>hookers sure are prominent antagonists), that sort of thing. We had
>some activities with our partners and separate from them, we talked
>about our futures, and - my favorite part:
>
>The priest who was overseeing the ordeal was telling us about how
>important it was to have children and never use birth control. He got
>to "Onanism" and decried it as an equally unnatural form of birth
>control. A person in the group asked him what that was, since she'd
>never heard of it. The priest was suddenly stammering like Rumsfeld on
>"Meet the Press" - "It's um... well... the man... you see. He um, when
>he reaches that, er, well... When he reaches that climactic moment and
>um... well... he umm..."
>
>It was 3:00 in the morning. I was exhausted and annoyed. I helped him
>finish his sentence.
>
>"EJACULATES!"
>
>Everyone in the room gasps. The priest looks at me, horrified.
>
>"EJACULATES!" I repeated. "Onanism is pulling out and shooting your
>big, hot load all over you partner, otherwise known as 'The Money Shot',
>or 'A Pearl Necklace' if your partner happens to be performing orally on
>you, which is also, by the way, a nasty sin. And keep it out of her
>butt, too. God hates that."
>
>We adjourned for the night. I'm going to hell. We'll have be married 6
>years this August.
>
>- Jim
>
>Dan Phillips wrote:
>
>>
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