We both lived in Kansas for a while, and he had a story about a Catholic
priest he had bedded at some point past. The priest officiating it was
*definitely* his type, and certainly attractive, so my wife and I were
absolutely convinced this was they guy (we were wrong, but still...).
The entire weekend we were name-dropping next to him to see if we could
get a reaction. Alas...
- Jim
a cantrl. wrote:
>You probably almost killed that priest :)
>
>Did he cover his ears and start chanting "I can't hear you, na na na na na na na na - must block sexual thoughts"?
>
>
>
>
>>Though my wife and I aren't Catholic, we were married in a Catholic
>>ceremony (whole other story), and before the diocese would agree to
>>perform the ceremony, we had to go to a compulsory weekend-long "Engaged
>>Encounter". It was interesting, to say the least. Its purpose was to
>>make sure each partner was comfortable with the other, and knew what
>>they were getting into. Probably for the same purpose as what Tennessee
>>is requiring - cutting down on divorce.
>>
>>There were some different programs, some speakers talking about serious
>>problems they had in their marriages (and let me tell you, those Vegas
>>hookers sure are prominent antagonists), that sort of thing. We had
>>some activities with our partners and separate from them, we talked
>>about our futures, and - my favorite part:
>>
>>The priest who was overseeing the ordeal was telling us about how
>>important it was to have children and never use birth control. He got
>>to "Onanism" and decried it as an equally unnatural form of birth
>>control. A person in the group asked him what that was, since she'd
>>never heard of it. The priest was suddenly stammering like Rumsfeld on
>>"Meet the Press" - "It's um... well... the man... you see. He um, when
>>he reaches that, er, well... When he reaches that climactic moment and
>>um... well... he umm..."
>>
>>It was 3:00 in the morning. I was exhausted and annoyed. I helped him
>>finish his sentence.
>>
>>"EJACULATES!"
>>
>>Everyone in the room gasps. The priest looks at me, horrified.
>>
>>"EJACULATES!" I repeated. "Onanism is pulling out and shooting your
>>big, hot load all over you partner, otherwise known as 'The Money Shot',
>>or 'A Pearl Necklace' if your partner happens to be performing orally on
>>you, which is also, by the way, a nasty sin. And keep it out of her
>>butt, too. God hates that."
>>
>>We adjourned for the night. I'm going to hell. We'll have be married 6
>>years this August.
>>
>>- Jim
>>
>>Dan Phillips wrote:
>>
>>
>>
>
>
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