*********************************************** A country doctor went way out one day to deliver a baby. It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see, while he helped the mother deliver, the child did so. . . The mother pushed and after a little while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath. The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he thought of the baby. "Hit him again," the 5-year-old said. "He shouldn't have crawled up there in the first place!" **************************************************************** A wife accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his examination, the doctor summoned the wife into his office alone. The doctor said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die." Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch, make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores, as he probably had a hard day. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only add to his stress and make it worse. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim." "If you can do this for the next ten months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely." On the way home, the husband turned to the wife and asked her, "What did the doctor say?" You're gonna die," she replied.
