I’m kinda doubtful about how common reason 2 is, I think most of what might 
superficially seem like insisting on conventional gender roles is actually 
(men's) homophobia—dancing with a man might make me look like a…, or the man 
dancing with me might be a…. (I specify men because I’ve never once lived and 
danced where women were exercised about this—occasionally a preference for 
mixed-gender, but never a strong one). The guy who assaulted me at NEFFA years 
ago because he came across me in the line dancing the “wrong” role didn’t do so 
because I was rejecting conventional gender roles, he did it because of 
homophobia.

Read Weaver
Jamaica Plain, MA
http://lcfd.org

> On Mar 12, 2024, at 1:36 PM, Julian Blechner via Contra Callers 
> <[email protected]> wrote:
> 
> ...
> - So, when someone says they prefer to dance in non-genderfree dances, with a 
> partner of a different binary-presenting gender person, in trad roles, 
> there's 2 possible, non-exclusive reasons:
> 1. That their choice is about courtship, but "make exceptions" for people 
> you're not attracted to. Which, I guess is fine in and of itself, but I think 
> people with this preference often may not consider _just how many exceptions_ 
> there are.
> 2. Their choice is more about embracing traditional gender roles. I'll get 
> back to this
...
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