Four thoughts from a previously silent watcher... First, have there been more thoughts about the catchphrase at the top? How about "Funding a cooperative culture" - I like the alliteration, and I like the sort of subtle subversive suggestion that the current culture is somehow not cooperative...
Second, I agree about the graphics; the first one is so exciting! And I don't think it's too confusing. I think it just needs some playing with colors; the snowdrift can appear to be a mountain in the background, rather than a drift in the foreground, which makes the shadow on the ground seem like a sloppy editing mistake or something. I think some slight tweaking of colors or perspective would clear it up though. Third, I prefer the summary under "a matching patronage system funding a free culture" to the new one. The reason is similar to the graphic; this explanation is dynamic and dramatic, where as the new one is relatively static. I like that the new one is concise, but it just isn't very fun to read...which is, like it or not, going to be important to getting people to engage with this. I would change the "with snowdrift.coop" to simply "Now," which I think makes it really exciting; Before....but NOW! The rest of the language could be cleaned up, but I really like that language, rather than the relatively pedantic "here's who we are and here's what we do" of the new one. Fourth, (and this is the least strong reaction of these four), I like that the pic of the "network effect" is just right there on the home page; the reason is that the first thought I had upon hearing this idea was "how is this different than kickstarter?" The most immediate, obvious and relevant reason is the network effect. The deeper and more important reasons are hard to explain with a simple info graphic, but this one sort of gives the viewer an immediate "here's why you should stay on this site and check out more rather than just heading over to kickstarter. -Jon On Wed, Sep 30, 2015 at 1:33 PM, Aaron Wolf <[email protected]> wrote: > I don't want to get too distracted from the core focus on implementing a > functional site, but I just wanted to share my thoughts briefly. > > In > > https://github.com/mray/Snowdrift-Design/blob/master/mray%20website%20mockups%20/older%20exports/export.png > > There's just so much LIFE, sense of engagement that the current final > draft is missing. That first draft is too hard to tell what is going on > with the paths that go side to side and back into the picture. But there > are three elements I really like: > > * the more high piled snow that makes it seem a little more substantial > * the twin pines that are both aesthetically nice, engaging, and nice > metaphor of the classic co-op twin pines > * the vague shadowed sense of stuff off in the distance left to the > imagination > > In comparison, > > https://github.com/mray/Snowdrift-Design/blob/master/mray%20website%20mockups%20/export30/landing.png > > Is clear, focused, tons of improvements. However, everything is a bit > flat now. It doesn't show a snowDRIFT, it just shows fallen snow. A > drift is when the snow piles up because the wind has made it all pile up > more. I miss the slight sense of piled up snow and more substantial > obstacle. > > The landscape overall feels like barren wasteland. We're in the tundra, > in some desolate town in Siberia. This could be solved if we had more > shadowed distant buildings and such off in the far distance, a whole > potential destination that people can imagine getting to eventually. And > I want more trees, lots of trees, I want the sense that I'm in a > temperate area with trees, like where people actually live, not in the > tundra. It just needs distant forests, and bring back the twin pines. > It's very common to have trees along a street. Some sense of that will > actually *frame* the focus rather than distract from it. > > Again: > > * more trees in distance and throughout landscape, esp. the twin pines > on each side > * more fuzzy destination with more houses (not a couple who lives in the > tundra, but regular folks in a social setting) > * slightly improved sense of snow having piled up, lots to clear > > I think these elements would really solidify the image. > > Best, > Aaron > > -- > Aaron Wolf Snowdrift.coop <https://snowdrift.coop> > _______________________________________________ > Design mailing list > [email protected] > https://lists.snowdrift.coop/mailman/listinfo/design >
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