Dear Noel,
Thank you (and others) for your explanation. Please allow me to elaborate a
little more.
Indeed, I agree that the type of communication style that Stephen has been
using is problematic. However, I think that it is important not to fall into
the blame game.
Just as an aside, my personal feeling is that it is not unhealthy to bring
in a mediator. Quite the opposite.
In a previous post, Leo suggested a quick read on negotiation. I commend him
for having some knowledge of the process. If one is to dig deeper into the
field of conflict managagement, one will discover that even experienced
negotiators often refer to mediators during the negotiation process as a
normal course of action. I have several good references on negotiation that
I can recommend for those who are interested in gaining a deeper
understanding of the dynamics of negotiation.
(By the way, I wouldn't be proposing my services if I didn't have some
experience in negotiation and conflict management...)
First off, a quote from an excellent introductory book about conflict
management:
Conflict is simply the condition in which people's
concerns--the things they care about--appear to be
incompatible.
...
Many people make the mistake of equating conflict
with fighting--arguing, blaming, name-calling, and
so on.[1]
Conflict is therefore not only natural, but healthy. It is the way in which
conflict is dealt with that determines the outcome.
Personally, I believe that calling in a mediator would actually be a mature,
responsible approach. Contrary to your very valid concerns, I personally
believe quite the opposite: it would show the Board that you are able to get
past your personal issues and get on with business in the most efficient way
possible.
Unfortunately, however, many people often feel that such a process equates
to failure of negotiations, which I do not believe is true.
Again, in no way do I wish to try to convince you of anything. Since many
people have not had the fortunate experience of dealing with a mediator, I
believe that people's perception may be off. So, I'm just trying to be
informative.
Best wishes,
Dave
[1] Introduction to Conflict Management -- Kenneth W. Thomas
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Noel J. Bergman [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> Sent: 30 September 2004 13:29
> To: Avalon Developers List; [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> Subject: RE: Stepping Back to Move Foward
>
>
> David,
>
> I appreciate your thoughtful and dispassionate comments. As you said, in
> order for mediation to work, the parties must all be willing to
> come to the
> table. In this case, the ASF is not likely to change from its core
> philosophies regarding community development based upon respect and
> collaboration amongst peers.
>
> Stephen tends to use hyperbole, such as claiming that people view
> him as the
> spawn of satan, to deflect the fact that he has contributed to a problem.
> Regardless of what anyone else has contributed to the problem, until and
> unless he is willing to recognize his own role, no amount of
> mediation would
> be effective. However, if the Merlin community is willing to go
> through the
> Incubator, and if the ASF is willing to permit that, you'd be welcomed to
> participate. :-)
>
> --- Noel
>
>
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