--- In [email protected], Duveyoung <no_re...@...> wrote: > > Just in case you don't get it, I get your curtness -- it's a geek > thing. Seen it a million times. Can you see the fear behind the > brevity of your responses? It comes from programming in your mom's > basement -- in the dark with just a cardboard pizza to gnaw on. > You're addicted to being precise instead of emotionally expansive. > Understandable, but you're shrinking from those who "run hot" > because you're afraid of all that shit inside you that wants to > run hot too....
I'm not afraid to run hot; I spent years running hot on Usenet newsgroups. It's just no longer the space I'm in. > Show us your rage, dude -- if anyone has a truckload of it, you > must -- what openly gay person hasn't been shit on a million > times -- that's a heap o' unrequitedness. And, geeze, you've > probably had another million veggie brains in Fairfield turn a > haughty gaze on ya for Godzilla's stomp on Bambi, and you're a > geek to boot. Man, three time's the charm -- let's have it. > > We're waiting for your primal scream. If you'd been around me during the first two years I was involved with Waking Down, you could have heard it, literally. One time, I dragged myself to a party, even though I was in a really dark place, and my WD teacher and some friends started working with me. They could see the rage boiling inside, and after asking everyone else if it was ok for me to get a bit noisy, they brought it out. I spent decades at war with how the I/me story shows up, and Waking Down sent me into a hellish free-fall into all stuff I was trying to push away or change. There was none of that "tiptoe around the sleeping elephants"... it was more like go up to the sleeping elephants and slap them hard on the ass. After my Waking Down Brand Second Birth Awakening, I had enough internal spaciousness and distance from the story to spend a year and a half working through all the internal issue shit with an amazing therapist. The space I'm in now has less heat and more equanimity; I quite like it. > And, Alex, take the vow. I'd vote for ya. Hell, Meow'd vote > for ya. This vow thing strikes me as grossly egoic, blatant validation seeking. Which is not to say that I've never before blatantly sought validation. Believe me, I have. But, like running hot, it's just no longer a part of the space I'm in.
