Dear maskedzebra - your message is so beautiful that I'm forced to
respond to this excellent judgement of my nature (except for the zero
sincerity part) line by line, I say you are a very smart individual.
--- In [email protected], maskedzebra <no_reply@...> wrote:
>
> The test of a person's sincerity is: how do they unconsciously
compensate for what they do not and cannot know about why they are
existing and why they are the particular who that is existing.
>
Yes - this is true - I'm not sure why I'm existing - this is something I
ask every minute and I have no answer.
> I see that even Curtis grants you some respect. Although in that
BatGap interview with Rick Archer you convinced me of your sincerity
with regard to Amma (in her role as your Guru), I have found, in nearly
all my interactions with you, that you are provocative, insolent,
insincere, and just plain wilful.
>
Yes I was sincere with respect to Amma, but I'm not so sure now - the
beloved looked real when I yearned for her, now the love has dissolved
the boundaries - so I feel I have become one with the beloved. So I'm
confused if I or the beloved even exist - I can only confirm the
existence of love.

> Since in my belief system you cannot be God (the being who knows
everything, who has created everything, who directs everything, who is
immediately present to the infinite future), you must be categorized,
like me, as a created being who is not in possession of all the facts
which pertain to your origin, your existence, and your individual form.
>
Yes - I don't know what the origin is or who created me but these
questions don't seem to bother me at all.
> Not to say your special and unique destiny in the universe.
>
Yes - I believe there seems to be some special and unique destiny for
everyone of us.
> This, it seems to me, is the problem, Ravi, for no matter what your
agenda (excepting, as I say, this account of your experiences with Amma,
which seem to me to be innocent and real) SEEMS to be, what I get is
someone interested in only one thing: stirring the pot.
Yes, my experiences with Amma were innocent and real. I don't have any
agenda other than provoking and stirring the pot.
> I TRULY BELIEVE YOU HAVE NEVER ONCE, in any exchange I have read yet,
OPENED YOURSELF UP (by your inward posture) TO THE PROPOSITION OF
WANTING TO LEARN OR KNOW ANYTHING AT ALL.
> > You are not serious in your relations with other human beings, Ravi.
You are just dancing, playing, teasing, whirling, feinting, disguising,
concealing, eluding, goading, posing.
Not quite true. I have several posts where I was very sincere. But yes I
mostly indulge in playing, teasing and mocking - guilty as charged. But
I'm either brutally sincere or completely elusive and playful.
>
> YOU WILL NOT AND CANNOT MAKE YOURSELF VULNERABLE TO ANOTHER HUMAN
BEING. Not in any way whatsoever.
>
Not true, to people whom I love I completely expose myself. I completely
exposed to my beloved and she repeatedly insulted me and distrusted my
love, my love was trapped, nowhere to go it was internalized and opened
a perennial source of love within me.
> What person who has loved you would testify that my description here
does  not accord with their experience—I mean in the end?
>
Yes they will testify to both - my complete sincerity or my complete
elusiveness. But I'm not sure there's a single person who gets the total
picture.

> Yes, you can take this post as insulting, demeaning, judgmental: but
the real question is: AM I WRONG IN MY INTERPRETATION OF YOUR ACTIONS?
>
No you are not and on the contrary I am overjoyed and thrilled by your
post.
> I do not believe I am, because I don't think you are sincerely seeking
to get anything from anyone. (Except, I must suppose, from Amma.)
>
True, in an inner sense, I never even got any advice from Amma on my
spiritual practices. But I love exchange of ideas, learning new things
on a mundane, outer level. Heck I have learned a lot from you. I had to
have a browser tab opened with merriam-webster.com to understand all the
words you threw around.
> But your importunate hounding of me with various questions, those
questions are merely a game you play. I sense NO DESIRE to have them
answered.
> > They represent—all your questions, challenges— your way of
trying to provoke me into responding, and as soon as I do, you will just
keep playing with me.
> > Nope. You are a trickster, a provocateur, a crazy gadfly—but for
what purpose? Perhaps only you know the answer to that, Ravi Yogi.
>
No I sincerely do. When I didn't get any or I feel that you are focused
on the accidental and not the essential is when I start posting
sarcastic, provocative messages.

> Meanwhile I refuse to answer what you put to me, because I would be an
idiot to do so—and you would consider me secretly inside yourself,
to be an idiot too.
>
No I might consider you unenlightened but never an idiot - I think you
are a genius.
> What is the proof of the truth of this judgment of you?
>
Mostly accurate.
> That you will manifest not the slightest bewilderment, confusion,
wonder, perplexity, concern over what I have said—BUT WILL COME BACK
WITH A RESPONSE WHICH PERFECTLY DEMONSTRATES THE TRUTH OF WHAT I HAVE
TOLD YOU HERE.
>
> Just watch: Here it comes.
>
You tell me?
> SEE? I told you. Even though as I write these last few words, I
already know and see the future: and that future is a response which
reveals that YOU COULD NOT IN THE LEAST BE INFLUENCED, AFFECTED,
TOUCHED, SURPRISED BY ANYTHING I HAVE SAID.
>
> Realize, then, Ravi, that in every word you choose to write in a
counter-post you will be exhibiting every one of the characteristics I
have identified here in this post.
>
> Is this your cosmic fate, Ravi?
>
> I pray it is not. Because of how pointless this makes your life.
>
Yes life is pointless, life is not a thing of utility - a car has a
utility, a house has a utility how can life have a point?
> Gauge the sincerity of this letter, then see whether there is any sort
of reciprocity of sincerity once you have composed your post.
>
There is.
> There will be none, Ravi. There will be none.
>
> (And if this post gets me kicked off of FFL, so be it. I will not
withdraw my comments for any reason.)
>
No need to withdraw any comments, and I haven't been kicked out yet so I
can never envision that possibility for you.


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