Hey, Khazana, very interesting what you're saying about Americans and lying and Puritanism. Here was the first thought that popped into my head when I read that paragraph: that Europeans are abiding in an older, somewhat more mature culture. And so they are able to recognize that truth is often a multi faceted reality that might not be so easy to discern. And even less easy to describe with words. Does that make any sense?
________________________________ From: khazana108 <no_re...@yahoogroups.com> To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com Sent: Saturday, October 13, 2012 5:23 PM Subject: [FairfieldLife] Re: Q.E.D. --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, turquoiseb <no_reply@...> wrote: > <snip> > Although, you have to admit that it's amusing from > a psychology/sociology point of view. I'm amused by > the phenomenon I call "throwing oneself on the turd." > It's similar to that staple of war movies in which > the hero (soon to be ex-hero) throws himself on the > grenade to save his buddies, but in the FFL version > it's what happens when one of the clique either > suffers from poor impulse control or consciously > decides to sacrifice themselves to get in one last > barb at the Common Enemy, even though they know that > it'll cause them to "post out" and sit on the Stupid > People's Bench for a week. Ha ha, you mean solitary suicidal post-outs? That's what I like about you, you immediately get the references I am making, and still top it. Actually, thinking about the post-out, I realize that it's really a blessing. Doesn't it add an additional dimension to the FFL soap opera? I really like it. IMO the bar could be lowered to about 30 to 35 posts per week. Generally speaking, I am not in favor of too many words. Maybe because I am a foreigner, and a slow typer at that. But I also like the principle (from movies): Don't say, show it. I like it generally in life. Where I was, in India, that's a way of communicating. Just looking, giving a small nod or hand-sign, and doing. When you go to the tea shop, the tea man/woman knows what you want, it just gives it to you. No big fuss about things that are evident. The same can apply here. Just use few words, as you say, throw a bone, and watch the dog gripping it. Don't convince by words, demonstrate. Start the dance, and then stop in the middle of it. This is a technique Gurdjieff employed. Give the attention, and then withdraw it. Talking about detachment. Btw. in one of the guest houses in India, at the end of my trip I saw Ramas book (surfing the Himalayas) and started to read a bit. I only finished about chapter 4, but I noticed, that there were many topics in the book, you are talking about. For example there is a chapter about hierarchical vs relational amongst other things. It seems to be one of those books, that creatively describe spiritual principles in a fictional story line. Anyway, interesting read. > The fascinating thing about this phenomenon from a > psychological or sociological point of view is that > the last steaming turd is often thrown at someone > who isn't even reading the thrower's posts. So the > "turd offering" is not even "aimed" at the person > it's supposedly thrown at. Instead it's thrown to > curry favor with other women (even if they're not > technically women, just acting like them) in their > clique. What's up with that? Do they *collect* > turds or something? :-) > > Speaking of interesting psychological/sociological > phenomena, have you ever noticed that folks who > talk the most about "forgiveness" and its healing > power are coincidentally the same folks who hold > onto grudges the longest, and keep demanding > apologies from others for "offenses" supposedly > committed weeks, months, or years ago? What's up > with that, too? Now, I don't know, but I myself never asked or demanded an apology by anyone online. So I don't really understand it. It's the same with that epithet 'Liar'. I just don't get it. I have written years ago, many years ago, that I think that it's something American to call each other Liar. I think its less of a sin to lie in Europe. I wrote it off to reflect something of American puritanism. I don't say, that people should lie or anything, it just strikes me as an attribute Americans use more likely to denounce others than Europeans for example. Just sayin.. > With this in mind, here are a number of quotes I > found with regard to apology, or apologizing. I > found them interesting, and you might, too: > > "No one who demands an apology deserves one." > - Raymond Chandler > > "Demanding an apology is an attempt to prolong > and escalate a disagreement, not diffuse it." > - Fritz Perls > > "Anyone demanding an apology is an extortionist. > They are declaring their intention to hold onto > a grudge, whether real ore imaginary, until you > pay their ransom. The thing is, just as with > financial extortionists, if you pay the ransom > you're just inviting the next attempt at extortion." > - Dashiell Hammett > > "She stomped out, spun on her heel and said that > if I didn't apologize she'd never speak to me > again. I thanked her for getting the point, and > closed the door." > - Raymond Chandler > > "It is a good rule in life never to apologize. > The right sort of people do not want apologies, > and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them." > - P. G. Wodehouse > > "Apologies can never be demanded, they're only > apologies if they're offered freely." > - some Buddha or another >
