These are hilarious Barry!
________________________________ From: turquoiseb <no_re...@yahoogroups.com> To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com Sent: Wednesday, July 24, 2013 10:47 AM Subject: [FairfieldLife] Re: Great writing advice from Stephen King > > So good luck creating your first sentences from now on. > > If you make them "inviting" enough, and infuse them with > > enough "voice," some people may even read the rest of > > the post. :-) > > "When I was a student at MIU I often stripped during > the flying portion of my Dome program while at the same > time the women around me..." > > "Back when I was having an affair with this man, that > you all know here, I discovered something very strange > about..." > > "I have had always wanted to be able to tell someone > my deepest, darkest sexual secret and it involves..." A good start. You might also get some mileage from: "Back before I was fully enlightened, and was just another hit man for the Mafia..." "I used to believe that the men's dome was about the same as the ladies' dome, but that was before my sex change operation..." "I once believed that those 'Letters to Penthouse' were fiction, but that was before I opened a South- facing doorway and discovered Bevan and an aardvark engaged in something that looked clearly Off The Program..." "As the aliens prepared their glistening rectal probes again, once more I realized how gullible I had been to believe Nabby when he called them our 'Space Brothers'..." "The biggest problem with FFL is that people talk too much about Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and don't spend nearly enough time talking about ME..." :-) One of my favorite first paragraphs of a novel was Richard Farina's opener to "Been Down So Long It Looks Like Up To Me." Talk about "voice" -- "To Athene then. Young Gnossos Pappadopoulis, furry Pooh Bear, keeper of the flame, voyaged back from the asphalt seas of the great wasted land: oh highways U.S. 40 and unyielding 66, I am home to the glacier-gnawed gorges, the fingers of lakes, the golden girls of Westchester and Shaker Heights. See me loud with lies, big boots stomping, mind awash with schemes."
