The strange thing is that one hardly sees so much anger and frustration in the real world as on FFL. Even people who deal with heavy problems like living on the streets, addicts of all kinds very often have the Insight to see from where their problems stem; themselves. Not so on FFL. Me thinks my old theory still holds; many of the participants here are quitters that jumped the ship that could have brought them safely across the Ocean (as Muktanda described TM). Unconsciously they know this but instead of analyzing themselves honestly they start to kick in all other directions than where a kick would be justified; their own butt. Add to this the fact that many have reached an age where bitterness and anger perhaps is irreversable. Particularily they blame the only Saint they ever knew for their failure not realizing he was only there to guide and inspire, the real work had to be done by the student himself. Not having the inclination towards self-discipline any path requires anger builds up and eventually catch fire - as seen on a daily basis by several poor souls here on FFL.
---In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, <fleetwood_macncheese@...> wrote : I don't understand this non-issue that Share has created. The article I posted, specifically listed seven techniques to deal with toxic people, and Share gets hung up on the title! She also has an awful lot to say about what "we" would do, if... I used it as an opportunity to use technique #1, "set limits", not that Share is toxic, but she sometimes writes, before thinking it through. I recognize that B fits the stereotype of a toxic individual, with his button pushing and desire to "get in touch with his inner asshole" (his words, not mine...). However, I also recognize that his life is basically over - He doesn't have the strength for a jog around the block, and his mind is growing feeble. All my life I have defended the underdog, and even now, with B spouting his usual, I cannot get angry with him. My heart pities him. He doesn't have much of a life, and if he needs to spend it on here denigrating others, so be it. He is easy enough to ignore. I worked with a few people at the nursing home, filled both with rage and dementia, and there is not much to do, except wait for them to settle down of their own accord, usually after mealtimes. As Nabby mentioned about these types, their self anger catches fire, and all we can do is watch it burn out of control. ---In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, <awoelflebater@...> wrote : ---In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, <sharelong60@...> wrote : Ann, I'd say it depends on your intention, esp your general intention in living. Do you want to benefit yourself and others? Or do you want to do harm? As for the rest, I think it's pretty simple. If someone is harming us and won't stop, then we remove ourselves from their life. If someone is harming others and won't stop, then we put them in jail until they can be rehabilitated. Sometimes jail is not possible and I personally don't think jail cures anyone of anything, in fact, jail mostly makes bad guys badder. And of course you are talking about a criminal level of toxicity when you talk about jail. Most of the toxicity is not something you could incarcerate someone for. I'm talking garden variety toxicity. Here online, if someone says something untrue, we say what is true. If someone says something we don't agree with, we say we don't agree. If someone is a jerk, we say we think that, ONE time. To say it over and over is imo a sign that the name caller is projecting and or venting. I think a lot of the nastiness online is people venting what they are unwilling or unable to vent about in their 3D life. If the asshole keeps on and on and on then one time is often not enough in terms of responding to it or attempting to deflect the untruths or negativity. When someone keeps farting in the room you just can't get away with opening the window once. Again, my opinion. Ditto. From: "awoelflebater@... [FairfieldLife]" <FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com> To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com Sent: Monday, November 3, 2014 10:16 AM Subject: Re: [FairfieldLife] 7 Techniques to Handle Toxic People ---In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, <sharelong60@...> wrote : Fleetwood, in many fairytales, if the king and queen don't invite the Wicked Witch to the birth celebration of their baby, then she arrives anyway and puts a curse on the little one! Meaning that we all have toxic elements in us to some degree. If we don't deal with them in a healthy way, then they show up in our life as allegedly toxic people, etc. First you call people toxic. Next thing you know, you're burning them at the stake or leading them into the gas oven! Is it okay to call someone as "asshole", "obnoxious", "annoying" or any other number of adjectives? Is it possible for people to actually be these things or are we merely putting our own subjective spin on how others act? Under what circumstances do we hold others responsible for their actions and effect on us or on others? What is the point where we say enough is enough? Or do we simply accept the behaviour of others as none of our business even when it impacts our lives?
