Rough Edges..... Hee hee.
Edg --- In [email protected], "curtisdeltablues" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > Other than a few personal battles here, I think you will find this an > interesting, safe place to post. I haven't seen anyone getting what > they don't give here. You set the tone by how you write and how you > respond. You can get into bickering wars but you can also ignore them > and interact with people who nourish you. > > You might find over time that some of the most intense posters have a > valuable POV that makes the rough edges worth it. Or perhaps not. > But either way it is up to you to set the tone of how you want to > interact here. Many people here are ready to be kind and supportive. > I hope you find them and enjoy this resource. I don't find ex-Tmers > to be more negative than anyone else. It may not be as fluffy soft as > the bunny crew, but there is plenty of heart on this board. Good luck! > > > --- In [email protected], Bronte Baxter > <brontebaxter8@> wrote: > > > > > > > > I speak as someone new to FFL who mostly lurks. I sometimes feel > to share in a discussion but know that if I do, someone's sure to > throw shit at me, and it just isn't worth it. I think a lot of women > feel that way. It's why few women participate in this forum. > > > > As far as someone's suggestion that we just read the people we > like and ignore the rest, it takes a long time for new people to > figure out who is who in the forum. It's easier to just get up and > leave. That causes FFL to become a rather incestuous little group, > unleavened by fresh viewpoints. > > > > And where does it leave the new visitors, often people > disillusioned or questioning TM, looking for a safe place to talk > about and share experiences? They can't do it at Fairfield Life, > unless they want to be fried and eaten for breakfast. And who wants > that damage to their tender feeling level, when they're already > working through enough shit from their confusing years in the movement? > > > > Sure, new people could put up a shield and get tough, but a lot of > us don't want to. Certainly most women don't want to do that. We value > the intelligence and sensitivity of our feelings, and don't choose to > participate in forums where they are dealt with violently. So we visit > a while and move on. But where are we to go? Where can we go to talk > and explore spiritual issues, if not in a chatroom supposedly devoted > to spirituality? > > > > I do understand how a chatroom of predominantly ex-TMers can > become negative. For years we taught to "never entertain negativity," > and the strain of that was enormous. We had to tippy-toe around and > watch our words and manner, fake smiles on our faces, or we would > likely get kicked out of the dome for a simple offhanded remark. It > was like living surveilled by the Gestapo. People subjected year after > year to that level of thought-and-speech monitoring are going to crack > eventually. When we did crack, we did it in an eruption of forbidden > expletives. For my part, I've been heartily using swear words ever > since I left the movement 20 years ago. Every time I use one, it's a > statement of independence and individuality. I hate the extremeness of > the movement in demanding sweetness and light from its members, > regardless of how they are feeling. > > > > But I also know that the other extreme is no better. To let > ourselves turn into despairing, hating monsters on account of our > abused past is a mistake. It hurts us personally, and our get-even > attitude gets taken out on our undeserving fellow victims. In just the > sort of attacks people make on each other sometimes here. > > > > I don't think personal attacks ever should be permitted in a forum > that courts independent thought, vulnerability of expression and > sincere sharing of experiences -- the sort of things that would help > all of us heal the years we spent as victims. > > > > I do think we should be permitted to use swear words -- why the > hell not, after all that we've been through? But even then, it's smart > to self-monitor and keep it fairly decent. A post that's 90 percent > full of barf and dogshit is going to turn off sensitive readers, > certainly women like me, who would otherwise participate in FFL. > > > > Someone wrote that the existing rules are already there, they just > need enforcing. Yeah, I think they do. Rick doesn't want to play the > policeman, but that's part of the role of a moderator, isn't it? > Sometimes policemen are needed in this world, as a necessary evil. If > people can't self-regulate in a moment of rage, a rule-enforcing > moderator provides a safety valve to stop a damaging post from going > through. If it saves the feeling level of the group, and helps promote > a higher level of discussion, isn't it worth the small pinch of > rule-enforcement? I don't think Rick should have to read and "judge > on" every post. He has no time for that. But if someone observed an > attacking email and complained to him, he could put the sender on > suspension for a couple of weeks. How hard is that? > > > > The question here is if the "townspeople" of FFL want to have a > policeman, for their own security and greater freedom. Freedom in the > long run: to talk deeper, more vulnerably, more sincerely than they > presently can when they have to write each post with their guard up, > or when they don't feel free to write at all. If the group does want > this, Rick or someone else needs to step up to the plate. > > > > I belong to another chat room. It's about caring for rabbits. It's > a nice place, and this is the policy on flames -- enforced and taken > seriously: > > > > FLAME POLICY > > > > EtherBun is an unmoderated listserve. However, because we want > EtherBun to be a happy place, the list owner and the EtherBun Advisory > Committee insist that there will be NO FLAMING, EVER. A flame is > defined as a personally insulting or derogatory post. Strong opinions, > healthy disagreement and civil discussion are welcome on EtherBun, but > flaming will not be tolerated. If you write a post voicing a strong > opinion about a controversial issue, please DO NOT name other EtherBun > subscribers personally. To do so invites hostility and fans the flames > of war, which will not be tolerated on EtherBun. Offenders will be > warned by the Advisory Committee, and repeat offenses will result in > the offender's being deleted from the list. > > If you are ever the victim of a private flame because of something > that occurred on EtherBun, please forward a copy of the flame post to > dana@ At the discretion of the EtherBun Advisory Committee, the > perpetrator will be warned and/or deleted from the list of subscribers. > > > > > > > > > > To subscribe, send a message to: > > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > > Or go to: > > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ > > and click 'Join This Group!' > > Yahoo! Groups Links > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > > Pinpoint customers who are looking for what you sell. > > >
