Marissa -- Reading Patience's story made me cry (yes, I too end up crying a lot at work) -- to think of the cruelty she's already endured in her little life. I'm so glad she seems to be on her way to a great new home even if it isn't yours. Rufus and Justin look delightful. I hope you get them! I'm sure Slinky would be proud to know that you're ready to channel the love you have for him into these other babies. Diane R.
________________________________ From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Marissa Johnson Sent: Tuesday, April 03, 2007 12:56 PM To: felvtalk@felineleukemia.org Subject: Re: Hi Marissa Aw, thanks for asking Wendy! I'm doing okay. The first several days after Slinky went to the bridge I really thought I was doing great! But the last few nights have been pretty rough. The guilt and "what-if's" started 2 nights ago - "if I'd caught the UTI sooner, gotten him in sooner - and to a better vet, done more, paid closer attention, etc."... In my head I know that's not true, but as someone else said, grief is not logical...and neither is guilt! I really started mourning Slink when I first found out how sick he was...but I think at that point I was mourning the loss of a friend, a companion, someone to keep me company. Now I think I'm mourning the loss of SLINKY...his personality, his sweetness, the amazing bond we had. Those are the things I can't ever get back, despite being able to get new friends, etc. So...it's a process I guess I have to go through, but it's not fun! I cried myself to sleep twice this week - holding his favorite pillow and petting the stuffed cat that looks like him (tho he's way too small). People have been fabulously supportive, though. The vet sent me a card with a very sweet note shortly after our appointment, and yesterday I got cards in the mail from 2 friends. Everyone's been checking on me and MC and Barb have been talking to me almost 24/7!!!! (THANKS GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!). It's so great to have family and friends help you through these times. Despite all the grief, I know Slink would not want me to be alone (he knows I need some babies to take care of me! lol) and I promised him I would give a good home to other cats. So I've begun looking for 2 new furbabes to adopt. I actually applied for 2 at the Washington Animal Rescue League: http://search.petfinder.com/petnote/displaypet.cgi?petid=8110889 http://search.petfinder.com/petnote/displaypet.cgi?petid=8136096 When I went to visit them again yesterday, one of the staff mentioned that they have a lot of apps in for Patience and that they were already leaning toward someone before I came along, so it sounds like I may not end up with her. But she said there weren't many in on Rufus...because his condition is scarier. I pointed out that I work in disability rights - it takes a lot to scare me! lol They seemed to think this one (below) would be a good match for Rufus since he's pretty quiet. http://search.petfinder.com/petnote/displaypet.cgi?petid=8136115 I've decided I definitely want special needs kitties...but I just can't do another terminal illness (such as felv) again right now. I don't have the emotional resources...nor the financial. And now that I understand the potential costs of treatments, etc. I don't think it would be very responsible of me to take in a + cat knowing I can't afford to pay for what they may (probably will) need. It's beginning to seem, though, that the special needs kitties are fairly popular...so I'd be willing to take in a healthy, "middle-aged" cat who's having trouble getting adopted as well. I'll let you all know what happens with the applications...and I know you all will love them even if they're not positive! ;) Thank you all so much for being here! This list has been my lifeline and I know I couldn't get through this stuff without you!!! I hope all your furbabies are doing well!!! MJ and Angel Slinky :) wendy <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: Hey Marissa, How are you doing today? You sound pretty upbeat in your posts, so I hope you're feeling good. Slinky is probably so happy to see you doing well, watching you from the top of his 'tree in the sky'. :) Wendy "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world: Indeed it is the only thing that ever has!" ~~~ Margaret Meade ~~~ ________________________________________________________________________ ____________ Don't get soaked. Take a quick peek at the forecast with the Yahoo! Search weather shortcut. http://tools.search.yahoo.com/shortcuts/#loc_weather ________________________________ Don't get soaked. Take a quick peek at the forecast <http://tools.search.yahoo.com/shortcuts/?fr=oni_on_mail&#news> with theYahoo! Search weather shortcut. <http://tools.search.yahoo.com/shortcuts/?fr=oni_on_mail&#news> This electronic mail transmission and any attachments are confidential and may be privileged. They should be read or retained only by the intended recipient. 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