Dear Giselle,
 
It is with great sadness that I write to tell you how sorry I am about Pixie.  
I have been thinking about her daily since your initial email and was hopeful 
that this would not be necessary.  I know the suffering you are going through 
and from experience know that you will make it, but it will take time.  Allow 
yourself the time you need to grieve and know that you are not alone; let our 
combined strength hold you during your time of sorrow.  
 
Pixie was a special lady who held a large piece of your heart, and a lucky girl 
to have such a loving companion.  Wow, from a little street urchin to a world 
traveler, what a life she packed into her too short time.  Go in peace sweet 
Pixie.
 
Amy

--- On Fri, 5/15/09, G D <gisell...@hotmail.com> wrote:


From: G D <gisell...@hotmail.com>
Subject: [Felvtalk] Pixie is a fluffy orange angel
To: felvtalk@felineleukemia.org
Date: Friday, May 15, 2009, 12:43 PM



It is with profound sadness that I share that my sweet baby Pixie 
Katzenellenbogan passed away yesterday evening. She was euthanized by a gentle 
and sympathetic vet while I stroked and talked to her. I told her she was deeply
loved.

Yesterday I got second and third opinions from vets I felt were genuinely 
interested in Pixie (unlike the apathetic first vet) and it was terrible news 
all around (see the bloodwork analysis below). In the last two days she 
deteriorated quickly before my eyes despite the regimen of
syringe-administered diluted wet food prescribed by the vet. Her breathing had 
become increasingly fast and
shallow (a vet explained she was gasping for oxygen due to the anemia). She was 
crying out in
pain, even while lying still, too weak to stand up or walk, and staring 
blankly. It was heartbreaking to
see her suffering.  Things she once enjoyed held no interest (favorite stinky 
foods, lying in a sunbeam, toys, going out in the yard, being brushed). 

I emailed the lab results from Pixie's bloodwork to a friend who's a vet in 
Canada and her analysis was: "There are a couple of things on her bloodwork 
that are alarming. 
First of all, she is very anemic (ie very low red blood cell count).  In 
conjunction
with what's going on with her high white blood cell count and platelets though,
I'm less concerned about the anemia itself and more concerned about an
actual leukemia (ie cancer).  Her red blood cells and platelets are both very 
low
which indicates that the bone marrow is likely diseased and not
producing them properly.  On top of that, according to the written
interpretation at the bottom, the red blood cells and platelets that do
exist are all showing signs of immaturity- this means that they are not
sticking around in the bone marrow long enough to mature completely
because something (ie the leukemia that is pumping out cells) is taking
up space in the bone marrow. Besides the changes in her CBC, some other 
parameters also point
towards this diagnosis:  her calcium level is elevated which is often
seen in association with cancer and her CPK is high which might
indicate muscle wasting.  Muscle wasting is often also seen with
cancer."

I thought yesterday was hard (choosing to end Pixie's suffering & helping her 
cross over) but today is even worse. Waking up with
no Pixie at the foot of the bed, no Pixie meowing for her tuna, no
Pixie
scampering down the stairs. Seeing her things everywhere -- food
bowls, toys, blankets, cat grass, scratching mats, the armchair she shredded, a 
brush full of orange
fur -- is devastating. HOW can I possibly live here without her?



Pixie was born in South Philadelphia in spring 2005, rescued from the
streets during a snowstorm in February 2006, and came into my life in
March 2006. She was a feisty little champ like Rocky. Pixie became a
Dutch cat in August 2006 when we moved to the Netherlands (her
permanent & final home), flying Northwest so I could bring her in
the cabin, tucking her carrier under the seat in front of me, and carrying a
pop-up make-shift litterbox, food, water, vet documents, and Rescue
Remedy. 

She was the perfect companion.

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