Why do you think you are imagining it? They do come back when we are ready and .........well, I have long conversations with my loves that have left this world. And they have made sure I knew it was very real.

Bless you.
On Mar 7, 2011, at 7:04 PM, dana giordano wrote:

Thank you so much for the condolences. I am still pretty sad he left. He's all over my facebook page. I don't know if you can see but here is a link: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?id=500028466&aid=19598 He's the white and
gray one on the bottom.

A nutty thing I'm doing is imagining conversations in my head when I visit his room and he tells me how he's doing. It actually helps. Sometimes I wonder if that's a little too nutty or even if it could be real - who knows - but I don't think I care. I like to imagine him up there calmly adapting
and enjoying being healthy in heaven.


I'm trying to look at the positives. I think it was fairly quick, I was actually home with him, he died and was cremated in his comfy beloved bed,
although I haven't gotten him back yet.

Very important for the end, I didn't have to force him into a cage to get to the vet. That would have been bad.. It once took me a nightmarish two hours and it sounded like I was abusing him as he screamed and climbed up between the screen and the window to not be crated....sheesh - the crate was huge
too. I finally had to get wooden boards and literally used several  as
leverage to block and steadily force him in. He was BIG and strong. He was awesome. He was fine btw. Just pissed. Never ever defeated. LOL. That just
made me smile.  I Love him!  He had his moments. :)

He didn't suffer from cancer as far as I know. He was finally fat with thick
healthy and clean fur.  I gave him as many snackies as he wanted.

I worried his life would end in the worst possible way, as I'm sure many of you do, so I am sad but extremely grateful I knew him and it was at least
seemingly peaceful. I'm afraid to google it yet. I hope it was.

Most frightening for me was I did not know Animal CPR and either way I was so scared, I could not hear or feel his pulse over the loud beating of my own heart. I had to get a mirror to check for breath and then wait a minute until I calmed myself enough to feel his pulse. I don't think I want to be that uneducated again. I really felt the responsibility of his life and trust in me. I think I did ok because there wasn't much I could do but I'm
not going to risk that again. I hope I don't need it.

I hope you all give your kitties a kiss and a hug and a thank you for still
being around tonight. As you know, It matters.

Best to you all and thank you so much for giving me a place to talk...many people are kind of being like..blippy about this...it didn't mean anything and they are happy, actually that I have one less cat.. Yes it makes my life
easier but some people went there SO Fast. :(

It's scary how little animals mean to some people. They just see fur, they
don't see heart.

Thank you for having this list!
Dana




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On Mon, Mar 7, 2011 at 6:26 PM, wendy <wendy2...@yahoo.com> wrote:

Dana,

I'm so sorry to hear about your sweet Buddy. Prayers for peace for you.

Wendy

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can
change the
world - indeed it is the only thing that ever has!" ~~~ Margaret Meade
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________________________________
From: dana giordano <giordano.d...@gmail.com>
To: felvtalk@felineleukemia.org
Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 11:59:08 PM
Subject: [Felvtalk] Buddy left for the Rainbow Bridge today.

HI All, please add my boy Buddy to the list. He was 10 years old, both Felv
and Fiv positive.

He passed earlier today about a half hour after a seizure. He had no prior
seizure activity I was aware of, in fact I thought he was in great
condition
and would be around for a couple more years. He went completely limp after
the seizure and at first I actually thought he was dead. But a little
breath
showed on the mirror in front of his nose, and then I hoped he would come
round in at least some fashion....but it didn't happen, he was barely
breathing, I couldn't tell if he was conscious or not the whole time - and then just as we got to the vets, he stopped. There was nothing they could do. I am really grateful I was home (my worst fear was he would be alone) and able to be with him when he passed and I really hope he was aware he
was
not alone, and I was trying to help him.

He was absolutely an awesome friend, such a patient cat, surprisingly sweet and playful for an old, very tough ex-TomCat. He was finally getting plump and really loving scratchies and pets. A total joy for me to see inside, safe and happy. I knew him the last three years - after feeding him for
two,
last winter is the year I caught him and insisted he stay inside.  We
worked
really hard to get to a very good place and it was worth it. He worked the
hardest; he still was willing to trust me.

I am really sad. I miss my friend in my house. His room feels incredibly empty and even though he wasn't allowed out of his room, I feel the absence
of his physical and spiritual presence everywhere. I am getting him
cremated
(in his cozy soft bed he loved, if they will allow it) so he will be back, sort of, but this is the first time I have had one of my cats in someone else's care when out of my house. I never leave them alone in a strange place. I know it's weird but it's creeping me out thinking of him alone, even if he is curled in his beloved bed, at the doctors office. I didn't
like leaving him there. :(

All, if you can, give your kitties a kiss, a hug and a treat today to thank
them for still being around. I know I am!

Best,

Dana and her 6 other furbabies (Callie, Hobbie, Greyling, Fuzzy, Magical
Forest Creature and Honeybunny Pouf) .
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