Dear Bonnie: What an extraordinarily lousy introduction you got in dealing with this horrid virus! It seems nothing is carved in stone and there are so few true "givens". Unusual (but not impossible, as you can attest) for a healthy adult cat to become infected and not be able to shuck the virus off. And very unusual for a cat to have a "false negative" to an FeLV test. (I'm assuming it was an in-house ELISA test?) Is it possible the kitten was tested too young for its status to be properly reflected by the test, or perhaps the kitten may have been tested too soon after exposure for there to be significant antibodies produced, or he/she could have been harboring a latent infection that did not manifest itself until later, after its immune system was unduly stressed by the anesthesia/surgery as your vet suggested. Those are questions to which you may never get definitive answers.
There are things we think we know to be so about this virus, only to get some nasty surprises, as you did. Thankfully such anomalies are not the norm. And then there are variables over which even the best prevention or treatment has no control...the inherent strength of each individual cat's immune system and the relative virulence of the viral strain it may be exposed to. Some cats can be exposed to the worst form of it and walk way unscathed. Other cats can be only minimally exposed and yet succumb. Some cats can live with the virus for years, while many others don't make it to their first birthday. Like so many other things in life, this virus is tragically unfair...all we can do is to try and cope with each situation we are presented with, to the best of our ability given whatever knowledge we can acquire and what resources we have to work with -- to not give up hope that someday there WILL be answers to more of our questions than not... and that eventually it will be clearly understood how the immune system is impaired by this virus and viable, reliable treatment for restoring an FeLV-compromised immune system will become available. Each of us on this list initially had our world shattered by that first horrendous experience dealing with a beloved kitty who tested + for FeLV, which most likely had a tragic resolution. My own rude awakening to the horrid reality of this virus came not quite two years ago with two unrelated kittens I had rescued. The first, seemingly robust and healthy at 6 week old was, in retrospect, probably carrying the virus from birth. The second one, rescued at 10-12 weeks, was deaf, tiny and delicate for her age yet miraculousoly survived the deadly P virus (was negative at that point) to flourish for the next five months, only to crash suddenly and succumb to FeLV (nonregenerative anemia) at 8 mos. That is when I discovered this talklist. Two weeks later the other kitten was tested and found to be positive, but she continued to thrive with only minimal gingivits and a low-grade cyclical fever, allowing me to hope she might be one of those lucky ones who can live with the virus long term -- until she suddenly crashed and succumbed to either pneumonia or lymphoma of the lungs at 16 mos. I was emotionally devastated to lose both those precious furbabies. I've learned so much from being a member of this list over the past two years. I still find myself wondering sometimes "What if..." I would have known, or done, this or that differently. But you have to learn what you can from each tragedy and move on, hoping you will have learned some valuable lessons that will help you do better in helping the next one, or two or...however many your heart can handle. I have three more positives now among my 19 feline residents. So far they are in a stable holding pattern on two different immunosupportive supplements and a healthy, natural and mostly raw diet. It is hard not to always have a silent dread in the pit of your stomach, waiting for the other shoe to drop, and sometimes I tear up when I watch these three outwardly healthy furkids romping and enjoying life wondering how much time I will have with each of them. My youngest positive, Purrki, is now 5-6 mos. and has such an unquenchable zest for life...he seems singlehandedly determined to make sure that my life is not boring and delights me daily with his often naughty antics. He is living his life full speed ahead with the personna of a panther in a diminutive black body. I can't help wondering if he knows his body is imperfect and will not keep his spirit nourished long-term so is making the most of every minute he has here in it. But he has a way of banishing negative thoughts and energy with his unabashed enthusiasm for everything that life presents him with. Such an aura is a far better anti-depressant than anything that comes in a bottle. I can only imagine how bewildering it was for you to be introduced to the tragedy of FeLV six years ago...what was available then treatment-wise for these ill-fated furkids? Was human interferon even an option? There are STILL far too many unenlightened vets out there whose treatment of choice is euthanasia. Have you been encouraged by developments in understanding and treatment over the past six years? Is it any less daunting now than it was then? It seems as if the use of feline-specific interferon may hold real promise; Nina's precious furbaby Grace was brought back from the brink and if she continues to improve and remain stable...here's hoping the VO will become readily available and not prohibitively expensive in the not too distant future so that more FeLV+ furkids have a chance to benefit from it. But whatever the future may hold for us and the kittys we try to help beat the odds, it is comforting to know I am not alone...the members of this list were there to help me through my agonizing initiation -- to share their knowledge and provide encouragement and emotional support that was so needed and welcome. Now as an ongoing listmember I try to make my own contribution, in whatever way I can. There are the inevitable heartbreaks to deal with both firsthand and vicariously as newbies find us in their time of need. But there is also the occasional miracle we can all celebrate. As the holiday season approaches I am praying for more miracles and fewer hearbreaks for all in the coming year, with renewed hope for emerging and new therapies to combat this deadly virus. Wishing everyone a Meowy Christmas and a Happy Mew Year. Sally in San Jose
