Re: adoption frustration

[tamara stickler]

Melissa,

 

I've SO been there too!  I can't tell you if you're making the right decision, you've met these folks, so you're in a better position than any of us...however I will tell you to GO WITH YOUR GUT...or your HEART...and tell your brain and all its rationals to hush.

 

Now having said that, I will also remind you....We get so attached to these animals that we rescue...we WANT them to have the RIGHT HOME...which of course, whether you are willing to admit it or not...is YOUR home...or one just like it.  Now when I say "your" I'm speaking about all of us who do this..I'm not single-ing you out here.  What I find SO hard to remember is that there ARE other good homes/situations out there that the cat will just love, and thrive in, even if it isn't what you/I would want for them.

 

One of my cardinal rules is to NEVER PLACE AN ANIMAL IN A HOME WHERE THE HUMAN TO PET RATIO IS GREATER THAN 1 PERSON : 4 PETS.  However, in two cases, I did place three cats in two homes where the ratio was better than 1:10.  AND, I don't regret it!  The reason: these two women who adopted these 3 cats are not only two of the kindest hearted women I've met, but I've seen the extent to which they will sacrifice in order to meet the needs of their charges.  Now the one I've placed two cats with is here in the same state in which I live, and from time to time, I do get a little nervous....she is a (in her words) Hippie in EVERY sense of the word...and as such is a totally FREE SPIRIT, so I keep in touch, we talk every month or so, just incase she needs or the cats need anything.  THAT way, should something ever happen, I'm available to take the two I placed with her, back.  I never really expect to mind you...I've seen her handle a long case of unemployment without EVER cutting back in animal care....but just in case.  And MOST IMPORTANTLY....both the cats, Tambours & Gracie, are HAPPY, and HEALTHY, and LOVED.

 

It can be SO FRUSTRATING when people don't follow thru, and don't seem to care that they've put you through a lot of work for nothing.  But as my Great-Grandmother Hayes used to say:  "If its meant to be, I'll happen and there's not a damn thing you can do about it....everything else,.... just filler." -bit of a fatalist the ol' girl, but worth quoting.

 

Good luck.  OH and add a little chocolate sauce to that ice cream!  :)

 

God Bless,

 

T

"Gloria B. Lane" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:

Melissa, hope you're eating that ice cream. You deserve it. Something
about adoptions... It sneaks up on me every time, and I don't do that much
of it. But I remember finding what seemed to be a perfect home for a
couple of dogs, and the people were going to visit, had an appointment, and
I stayed home waiting, waiting, waiting... I finally called, and they'd
changed their minds and gone to the pound. I said, well, I've been
waiting, you know. The frustration of thinking it's a good match, and it's
not; of being treated like my time doesn't matter;

Anyhow, I ve had that sort of thing since then, and think I'm not meant to
do this. Then I try to remember not to put so much expectation on the
prospects; to remember to take it lightly, and not to really expect
(believe maybe) it until it happens. AHGG.

ANyhow, my sympathies..

Gloria

At 09:14 PM 12/8/2004, you wrote:
>I had some prospective adopters come by on Sunday to visit with the
>kittens to see if they would be interested in adopting one or more.
>
>They were a really nice couple, seemed very interested, filled out a
>contract and went home to think about whether they could take more than
>one. They are going out of town at the end of the year so kind of urged me
>to check references quickly so they could possibly get the kitten soon so
>as to integrate into their household before they had to go out of town.
>Otherwise, they would pick up when they returned.
>
>So I spent Monday calling their references and then sent a few emails and
>left two phone messages trying to contact them to let them know everything
>was a go. Finally got them on the phone today.
>
>They adopted another kitten. It's already at their house. Th! ey still sort
>of want one of mine, but not all three as they were leaning towards when
>they left. They also would want it when they come back in JANUARY. They
>also said to let them know if someone expressed interest in the kittens,
>which leads me to believe that they don't really *want* one of my kittens
>but maybe feel like they would be doing a good deed by taking one. Because
>they didn't take mine right away and they brought this other cat home,
>they can't take one of mine right away...so there is a large probability
>that between now and mid-January that they will change their minds and end
>up not taking any.
>
>While I can't make them want two of mine, I am frustrated that they could
>have had two of mine and opted instead to adopt a singleton and then make
>one of my kittens a singleton. I am frustrated that they allowed me to go
>through the process of checking references an! d then went and did an
>impulse adoption elsewhere. I am frustrated someone gave them a kitten
>same day (which is a whole other issue) and as a result, my kitten isn't
>going to get a home. Because as much as I really want my kittens to get a
>home, I can't make myself be comfortable with this situation. Their
>existing cat just lost its companion (their second cat died from FeLV
>complications). Then less than two weeks later they have introduced a new
>cat, ok, but then they are going out of the country and then when they
>come back they want to introduce a third cat?? They are going to make
>their existing cat ill with stress.
>
>I am so frustrated with rescue and this disease. I'm so frustrated with
>people who have the means to care for animals and don't. I'm just...I'm
>just frustrated tonight. I got my hopes up and now I have to write these
>people back and basically do the one ! thing I don't want to have to do and
>turn down a family who would, under different circumstances, have made a
>great home for one of my kittens. I only wish their timing had been different.
>
>Am I making the right choice?
>
>Melissa, who needs a big bowl of ice cream and some motrin
>
>
>
>
>���,��,������,��,������,��,��� Adopt a special needs pet!
>���,��,������,��,������,��,���
>Kittens and cats with Feline Leukemia need caring homes; for more
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>http://www.marleyfund.com

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