I think that Simon is dying, but I am not sure. Just two hours or so ago, maybe more, he was lying on his back with his legs spread apart getting belly rubs from me and my partner and purring incredibly loudly. He ate two bites of food. He got up and laid down on his side and seemed to sleep. After a half hour or so he got up and moved and looked uncomfortable to me, but still purred when I pet him. So I gave him 50 c of fluids, thinking he might be dehydrated. After the fluids he got up and walked a few steps, then meowed plaintively twice and laid down and was breathing and twice normal speed but otherwise not moving. His breathing slowed to slower than normal after a few seconds and he has just been lying there quietly on his side ever since with his eyes closed. I am not sure if he is sleeping. he opened his eyes and looked at me once, then lifted his head and licked his lips as if nauseous. He was due for a reglan so I gave it to him. He then put his head back down and closed his eyes and is still lying still like that, breathing slowly. he is not panting or gasping, his mouth is closed, he is not making any noises. He is not purring either, though, when I pet him. I do not know if he is asleep or just very weak. I am not sure what happened when I gave him the fluids. A friend who called me said I should euthanize him. My partner says not to, that he seems peaceful and may go peacefully on his own, but my partner is also against euthanasia. I really am not sure what to do. I generally think it is better to go peacefully on one's own than to get a shot, if it is possible. He looks peaceful, but I do not know how he feels. My partner also says that he turned around so much last night after 8 hours of hiding and looking miserable to suddenly wanting pets and belly rubs and eating some and drinking, that maybe something just happened from the fluids and he will sleep it off and have a little bit more quality time. Everyone says you just "know" by looking at them what to do and when. I do not agree, for me at least. I really don't know. I feel torn between people who think that once the death process starts it is cruel not to euthanize because why put them through this, and people who are totally against euthanasia. I feel like if there were a standard for doing it with humans I might find comfort in that and feel I could know it was time with an animal, but suffering is suffering so if no one would euthanize a human in the stat that simon is in then why is it that people think it is cruel not to euthanize him? I have been laying by his side all day, and all last night, and all yesterday. Some people say that not euthanizing is selfish and is for the human, but I know that I will soon have to mourn him and it is not like it is easier for me to lay here and watch him go through all these little rollercoasters. I really do just want to do what is best for him, but just do not know what that is. Michelle
