Simon is still here, though I keep thinking he is so weak he is about to go.
He has not had food since yesterday afternoon, and only 1 cc then. He spends
most of his time sleeping and cuddling, waking up and rolling over for belly
rubs and purring. He loves to be spooned and held against my body and purrs
louder until he falls asleep. When I pet his back he pushes his but and tail
against me the way cats do when they want to be scratched thre. And he drinks
water and as recently as this morning used the litter box. But the horrible
thing is that every 4 hours or so he decides he wants to walk around, but he
really is too weak or anemic to go far, and when it overcomes him he meows
horribly
and hyperventillates for about 10 seconds, then lays down and falls asleep
for about 20 minutes, then wakes up and wants to be pet and when I pet him
starts purring and rolls on his back for a belly rub until he falls asleep
again.
It's a long cycle he keeps repeating. I think it has happened 6 or 7 times
since yesterday afternoon. Every time he gets up I panic, and then when he
meows I run for the tranquilizer thinking I will give it to him and call my
friend
to euthanize him, but then just as suddenly he has stopped and is asleep,
then wanting to be pet, etc. So every few hours I decide to euthanize him,
only
to have him pressed against me purring and giving me his belly before I have
made the arrangements. it is a bit horrifying and exhausting, but I just can
not see euthanizing him when most of the time he is sleeping or cuddling and
purring. I assume that without food he will get weak enough soon that he won't
want to walk around, or sick enough that it will be no question as to what I
should do. I wish that one of these times when he falls asleep purring he will
just slip off quietly. But I know the chances of that are at best no greater
than that he will just continue to get worse without dying and I will
eventually have to do something.
Michelle
