Dear Michelle
Thank you for keeping us up to date. I feel privileged to be part of
what you're both going through -- I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling I'm
almost there with you. Please know I'm certainly with you and Simon in
spirit. He surely knows he could never wish for a better friend than
you. And for all the intensity and rollercoaster nature of this
incredibly difficult time you're going through with him, you'll never
regret it. You'll cherish the memories in years to come. 
love, continuing strength, and hugs to you both, Kerry



-----Original Message-----
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On
Behalf Of [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Sent: Tuesday, January 11, 2005 10:13 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Simon update, Tuesday


Simon is still here, though I keep thinking he is so weak he is about to
go. 
He has not had food since yesterday afternoon, and only 1 cc then.  He
spends 
most of his time sleeping and cuddling, waking up and rolling over for
belly 
rubs and purring. He loves to be spooned and held against my body and
purrs 
louder until he falls asleep.  When I pet his back he pushes his but and
tail 
against me the way cats do when they want to be scratched thre. And he
drinks 
water and as recently as this morning used the litter box.  But the
horrible 
thing is that every 4 hours or so he decides he wants to walk around,
but he 
really is too weak or anemic to go far, and when it overcomes him he
meows horribly 
and hyperventillates for about 10 seconds, then lays down and falls
asleep 
for about 20 minutes, then wakes up and wants to be pet and when I pet
him 
starts purring and rolls on his back for a belly rub until he falls
asleep again.  
It's a long cycle he keeps repeating.  I think it has happened 6 or 7
times 
since yesterday afternoon.  Every time he gets up I panic, and then when
he 
meows I run for the tranquilizer thinking I will give it to him and call
my friend 
to euthanize him, but then just as suddenly he has stopped and is
asleep, 
then wanting to be pet, etc.  So every few hours I decide to euthanize
him, only 
to have him pressed against me purring and giving me his belly before I
have 
made the arrangements.  it is a bit horrifying and exhausting, but I
just can 
not see euthanizing him when most of the time he is sleeping or cuddling
and 
purring.  I assume that without food he will get weak enough soon that
he won't 
want to walk around, or sick enough that it will be no question as to
what I 
should do.  I wish that one of these times when he falls asleep purring
he will 
just slip off quietly.  But I know the chances of that are at best no
greater 
than that he will just continue to get worse without dying and I will 
eventually have to do something.
Michelle

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