A masterful analysis For me it has become another poem entirely
It's a blog! http://rogerstevens.blogspot.com Wonky Finger - Live at Staplecroft Village Hall Order your copy at http://www.rabbitpress.com Visit The Poetry Zone http://www.poetryzone.co.uk -----Original Message----- From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of suse Sent: 20 November 2005 02:13 To: FLUXLIST@scribble.com Subject: Re: RE: FLUXLIST: Jack A. Withers Smote poem using: iambic, anapestic, trochaic, dactylic, spondaic, pyrrhic and forgoing: amphi anti bacchi, chori crete and epi Whip lick every entity: Lentils' heavy dick --Jack A. Withers Smote With the sardines of your neighbors-----spondee, iamb, iamb, trochee-----8-----a those very pretty plastic balls like-----dactyl, spondee, spondee, spondee-----9-----b hosers on the shore strong models of your-----spondee, spondee, spondee, trocheel, trochee-----10-----a jungle verbiage in the cellphone lake-----trochee, dactyl, anapest, dactyl-----10-----slnted b Organ hand and legless jokes some-----trochee, spndee, trochee, spondee-----8-----c jackoff zoo with puddles of cough syrup you-----Pyrric, iamb, trochee, iamb, trochee-----11-----d stirred the long mud clues and stacked-----trochee, trochee, trochee, bum--7-----imbed? (in bed?) gum smokes, the eggless hands and doormen-----spondee, iamb, dactyl, spondee--9-----slnt c Cake dome hell on the swim curbbage's bumbled-----trochee, trochee, iamb, dactyl.. spondee-----11-----e glove your yodels snore the bomb closers-----trochee, trochee, dactyl, spondee-----9-----slant b petting every wall in spastic clothes: oh, spondee, spondee, spondee, spondee, spon--dee-----10-----(slant ac) neighing floor of hard beans: "the whip"!-----anapest, anapest, Iamb!-----8-----f After Blaster Al Ackerman's ---spndee--spondee--iamb, spondee-----8----g "The Sardines of Your Neighbors"---iamb, iamb, dactyl-----7-----a >From this primitive and limited scansion I'd say it is close to a Shakespearean sonnett. A few beats added for pause or swallowed syllables and it's pert near solid, strange rhymees, but gallop it does --and surely it rhymes internally. The scansion reflects, of course, subjective reading -- I am fondee of the spondee. tee hee. there are a few other feet in there--which i forwent? A right nice smote poem I'd say. O! I gave a readingand it was grand--read with Matt Derby--check him out! suse ----- Original Message ----- From: "michael leigh" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: <FLUXLIST@scribble.com> Sent: Saturday, November 19, 2005 5:11 PM Subject: RE: RE: FLUXLIST: Jack A. Withers Smote poem > Neglecting the meter will not affect your gas supply > but poems will be charged for every therm used . > Therm more than others. > > Michael > > > --- Roger Stevens <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > > Of course > > > > I was neglecting that particular meter, fine and > > noble as it is > > > > Silly me > > > > It's a blog! http://rogerstevens.blogspot.com > > > > Wonky Finger - Live at Staplecroft Village Hall > > Order your copy at http://www.rabbitpress.com > > > > Visit The Poetry Zone > > http://www.poetryzone.co.uk > > > > > > > > > > > > > > -----Original Message----- > > From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] > > On Behalf Of JOHN BENNETT > > Sent: 19 November 2005 14:16 > > To: FLUXLIST@scribble.com > > Subject: Re: RE: FLUXLIST: Jack A. Withers Smote > > poem > > > > These are Johnee sonnets, written in Johnee meter > > etc! > > John > > > > Dr. John M. Bennett > > Curator, Avant Writing Collection > > Rare Books & Manuscripts Library > > The Ohio State University Libraries > > 1858 Neil Av Mall > > Columbus, OH 43210 USA > > > > (614) 292-3029 > > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > www.johnmbennett.net > > > > ----- Original Message ----- > > From: Roger Stevens <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > > Date: Friday, November 18, 2005 1:07 pm > > Subject: RE: FLUXLIST: Jack A. Withers Smote poem > > > > > Okay - the two short lines are released to float > > amidst the three > > > quatrains. fine > > > > > > And the ends of the lines rhyme, in a relaxed way > > - in the > > > Shakespeareanstyle actually - > > > > > > But what about the meter and the rhythm? Answer me > > that! > > > > > > > > > > > > It's a blog! <" > > target="l">http://rogerstevens.blogspot.com> > > > http://rogerstevens.blogspot.com > > > > > > Wonky Finger - Live at Staplecroft Village Hall > > > Order your copy at <" > > target="l">http://www.rabbitpress.com> > > > http://www.rabbitpress.com > > > > > > Visit The Poetry Zone > > > http://www.poetryzone.co.uk > > > > > > > > > > > > <" target="l">http://rogerstevens.blogspot.com> > > > > > > -----Original Message----- > > > From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > On Behalf Of John M. Bennett > > > Sent: 18 November 2005 15:16 > > > To: FLUXLIST@scribble.com > > > Subject: RE: FLUXLIST: Jack A. Withers Smote poem > > > > > > Uh, it is a sonnet unless you define sonnet in > > strictly narrow > > > terms, as > > > being only a "Shakespearean" or "Petrarchan". > > This is one of > > > Bennett'ssonnet forms, as seen by Smote. But it's > > got the 14 > > > lines, 3 quatrains, > > > and a couplet consisting of the 2 short lines. A > > fairly traditional > > > sonnet in form in my book. Bennett is getting > > reactionary perhaps? > > > > > > John > > > > > > At 05:23 AM 11/18/2005, you wrote: > > > > > > > > > I don't wish to be pedantic (or maybe I do) > > > > > > Or maybe I'm missing something > > > > > > But this doesn't bear any relation to a sonnet. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > -----Original Message----- > > > From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [ <')" > > >[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > > > [EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of John M. > > Bennett > > > Sent: 17 November 2005 21:07 > > > To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > Subject: FLUXLIST: Jack A. Withers Smote poem > > > > > > Smote sent me this, seems he's trying out my > > recent "sonnet" form: > > > > > > > > > > > > Whip > > > > > > > > > With the sardines of your neighbors > > > those very pretty plastic balls like > > > hosers on the shore strong models of your > > > jungle verbiage in the cellphone lake > > > > > > Lick every entity > > > > > > Organ hand and legless jokes some > > > jackoff zoo with puddles of cough syrup you > > > stirred the long mud clues and stacked > > > gum smokes, the eggless hands and doormen > > > > > > Lentils' heavy dick > > > > > > Cake dome hell on the swim curbbage's bumbled > > > glove your yodels snore the bomb closers > > > petting every wall in spastic clothes: oh > > > neighing floor of hard beans: "the whip"! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Jack A. Withers Smote > > > > > > After Blaster Al Ackerman's > > > "The Sardines of Your Neighbors" > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________ > > > Dr. John M. Bennett Curator, Avant Writing > > Collection > > > Rare Books & Manuscripts Library > > > The Ohio State University Libraries > > > 1858 Neil Av Mall > > > Columbus, OH 43210 USA > > > > > > (614) 292-3029 > > > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > www.johnmbennett.net > > > ___________________________________________ > > > __________________________________________ > > > Dr. John M. Bennett > > > Curator, Avant Writing Collection > > > Rare Books & Manuscripts Library > > > The Ohio State University Libraries > > > 1858 Neil Av Mall > > > Columbus, OH 43210 USA > > > > > > (614) 292-3029 > > > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > www.johnmbennett.net > > > ___________________________________________ > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > It's another blog! http://flobberlob.blogspot.com/ > > > > ___________________________________________________________ > To help you stay safe and secure online, we've developed the all new Yahoo! Security Centre. http://uk.security.yahoo.com > >
