I'll ask him and get back to you tomorrow, but I'm betting that "cake in these thoughts" would be right up Smote's alley. Mine too, come to think of it - John
Dr. John M. Bennett Curator, Avant Writing Collection Rare Books & Manuscripts Library The Ohio State University Libraries 1858 Neil Av Mall Columbus, OH 43210 USA (614) 292-3029 [EMAIL PROTECTED] www.johnmbennett.net ----- Original Message ----- From: suse <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Date: Sunday, November 20, 2005 2:07 pm Subject: Re: RE: FLUXLIST: Jack A. Withers Smote poem > another W.S. > > XXIX. > > When, in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes, > I all alone beweep my outcast state > And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries > And look upon myself and curse my fate, > Wishing me like to one more rich in hope, > Featured like him, like him with friends possess'd, > Desiring this man's art and that man's scope, > With what I most enjoy contented least; > Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising, > Haply I think on thee, and then my state, > Like to the lark at break of day arising > From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate; > For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings > That then I scorn to change my state with kings. > > query > Mr. Withers Smote: would you consider exchanging "yet" for "cake" > based on > this reading? > > > ----- Original Message ----- > From: "Roger Stevens" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > To: <[email protected]> > Sent: Sunday, November 20, 2005 6:31 AM > Subject: RE: RE: FLUXLIST: Jack A. Withers Smote poem > > > > A masterful analysis > > > > For me it has become another poem entirely > > > > > > > > It's a blog! http://rogerstevens.blogspot.com > > > > Wonky Finger - Live at Staplecroft Village Hall > > Order your copy at http://www.rabbitpress.com > > > > Visit The Poetry Zone > > http://www.poetryzone.co.uk > > > > > > > > > > > > > > -----Original Message----- > > From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > On Behalf Of suse > > Sent: 20 November 2005 02:13 > > To: [email protected] > > Subject: Re: RE: FLUXLIST: Jack A. Withers Smote poem > > > > using: > > iambic, anapestic, trochaic, dactylic, spondaic, pyrrhic > > and forgoing: > > amphi anti bacchi, chori > > crete and epi > > > > > > Whip lick every entity: Lentils' heavy dick > > > > --Jack A. Withers Smote > > > > > > With the sardines of your neighbors-----spondee, iamb, iamb, > > trochee-----8-----a > > those very pretty plastic balls like-----dactyl, spondee, spondee, > > spondee-----9-----b > > hosers on the shore strong models of your-----spondee, spondee, > spondee,> trocheel, trochee-----10-----a > > jungle verbiage in the cellphone lake-----trochee, dactyl, anapest, > > dactyl-----10-----slnted b > > Organ hand and legless jokes some-----trochee, spndee, trochee, > > spondee-----8-----c > > jackoff zoo with puddles of cough syrup you-----Pyrric, iamb, > trochee,> iamb, > > trochee-----11-----d > > stirred the long mud clues and stacked-----trochee, trochee, > trochee,> bum--7-----imbed? (in bed?) > > gum smokes, the eggless hands and doormen-----spondee, iamb, dactyl, > > spondee--9-----slnt c > > Cake dome hell on the swim curbbage's bumbled-----trochee, trochee, > > iamb, > > dactyl.. spondee-----11-----e > > glove your yodels snore the bomb closers-----trochee, trochee, > dactyl,> spondee-----9-----slant b > > petting every wall in spastic clothes: oh, spondee, spondee, > spondee,> spondee, spon--dee-----10-----(slant ac) > > neighing floor of hard beans: "the whip"!-----anapest, anapest, > > Iamb!-----8-----f > > After Blaster Al Ackerman's ---spndee--spondee--iamb, spondee---- > -8----g > > "The Sardines of Your Neighbors"---iamb, iamb, dactyl-----7-----a > > > > From this primitive and limited scansion I'd say it is close to a > > Shakespearean sonnett. A few beats added for pause or swallowed > > syllables > > and it's pert near solid, strange rhymees, but gallop it does - > -and > > surely > > it rhymes internally. The scansion reflects, of course, subjective > > reading -- I am fondee of the spondee. tee hee. there are a few > other> feet > > in there--which i forwent? > > > > A right nice smote poem I'd say. > > O! I gave a readingand it was grand--read with Matt Derby--check him > > out! > > suse > > > > > > ----- Original Message ----- > > From: "michael leigh" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > > To: <[email protected]> > > Sent: Saturday, November 19, 2005 5:11 PM > > Subject: RE: RE: FLUXLIST: Jack A. Withers Smote poem > > > > > > > Neglecting the meter will not affect your gas supply > > > but poems will be charged for every therm used . > > > Therm more than others. > > > > > > Michael > > > > > > > > > --- Roger Stevens <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > > > > > > Of course > > > > > > > > I was neglecting that particular meter, fine and > > > > noble as it is > > > > > > > > Silly me > > > > > > > > It's a blog! http://rogerstevens.blogspot.com > > > > > > > > Wonky Finger - Live at Staplecroft Village Hall > > > > Order your copy at http://www.rabbitpress.com > > > > > > > > Visit The Poetry Zone > > > > http://www.poetryzone.co.uk > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > -----Original Message----- > > > > From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > > On Behalf Of JOHN BENNETT > > > > Sent: 19 November 2005 14:16 > > > > To: [email protected] > > > > Subject: Re: RE: FLUXLIST: Jack A. Withers Smote > > > > poem > > > > > > > > These are Johnee sonnets, written in Johnee meter > > > > etc! > > > > John > > > > > > > > Dr. John M. Bennett > > > > Curator, Avant Writing Collection > > > > Rare Books & Manuscripts Library > > > > The Ohio State University Libraries > > > > 1858 Neil Av Mall > > > > Columbus, OH 43210 USA > > > > > > > > (614) 292-3029 > > > > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > > www.johnmbennett.net > > > > > > > > ----- Original Message ----- > > > > From: Roger Stevens <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > > > > Date: Friday, November 18, 2005 1:07 pm > > > > Subject: RE: FLUXLIST: Jack A. Withers Smote poem > > > > > > > > > Okay - the two short lines are released to float > > > > amidst the three > > > > > quatrains. fine > > > > > > > > > > And the ends of the lines rhyme, in a relaxed way > > > > - in the > > > > > Shakespeareanstyle actually - > > > > > > > > > > But what about the meter and the rhythm? Answer me > > > > that! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > It's a blog! <" > > > > target="l">" target="l">http://rogerstevens.blogspot.com> > > > > > http://rogerstevens.blogspot.com > > > > > > > > > > Wonky Finger - Live at Staplecroft Village Hall > > > > > Order your copy at <" > > > > target="l">" target="l">http://www.rabbitpress.com> > > > > > http://www.rabbitpress.com > > > > > > > > > > Visit The Poetry Zone > > > > > http://www.poetryzone.co.uk > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > <" target="l">" target="l">http://rogerstevens.blogspot.com> > > > > > > > > > > -----Original Message----- > > > > > From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > > > On Behalf Of John M. Bennett > > > > > Sent: 18 November 2005 15:16 > > > > > To: [email protected] > > > > > Subject: RE: FLUXLIST: Jack A. Withers Smote poem > > > > > > > > > > Uh, it is a sonnet unless you define sonnet in > > > > strictly narrow > > > > > terms, as > > > > > being only a "Shakespearean" or "Petrarchan". > > > > This is one of > > > > > Bennett'ssonnet forms, as seen by Smote. But it's > > > > got the 14 > > > > > lines, 3 quatrains, > > > > > and a couplet consisting of the 2 short lines. A > > > > fairly traditional > > > > > sonnet in form in my book. Bennett is getting > > > > reactionary perhaps? > > > > > > > > > > John > > > > > > > > > > At 05:23 AM 11/18/2005, you wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I don't wish to be pedantic (or maybe I do) > > > > > > > > > > Or maybe I'm missing something > > > > > > > > > > But this doesn't bear any relation to a sonnet. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > -----Original Message----- > > > > > From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [ <')" > > > > >[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > > > > > [EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of John M. > > > > Bennett > > > > > Sent: 17 November 2005 21:07 > > > > > To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > > > Subject: FLUXLIST: Jack A. Withers Smote poem > > > > > > > > > > Smote sent me this, seems he's trying out my > > > > recent "sonnet" form: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Whip > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > With the sardines of your neighbors > > > > > those very pretty plastic balls like > > > > > hosers on the shore strong models of your > > > > > jungle verbiage in the cellphone lake > > > > > > > > > > Lick every entity > > > > > > > > > > Organ hand and legless jokes some > > > > > jackoff zoo with puddles of cough syrup you > > > > > stirred the long mud clues and stacked > > > > > gum smokes, the eggless hands and doormen > > > > > > > > > > Lentils' heavy dick > > > > > > > > > > Cake dome hell on the swim curbbage's bumbled > > > > > glove your yodels snore the bomb closers > > > > > petting every wall in spastic clothes: oh > > > > > neighing floor of hard beans: "the whip"! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Jack A. Withers Smote > > > > > > > > > > After Blaster Al Ackerman's > > > > > "The Sardines of Your Neighbors" > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________ > > > > > Dr. John M. Bennett Curator, Avant Writing > > > > Collection > > > > > Rare Books & Manuscripts Library > > > > > The Ohio State University Libraries > > > > > 1858 Neil Av Mall > > > > > Columbus, OH 43210 USA > > > > > > > > > > (614) 292-3029 > > > > > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > > > www.johnmbennett.net > > > > > ___________________________________________ > > > > > __________________________________________ > > > > > Dr. John M. Bennett > > > > > Curator, Avant Writing Collection > > > > > Rare Books & Manuscripts Library > > > > > The Ohio State University Libraries > > > > > 1858 Neil Av Mall > > > > > Columbus, OH 43210 USA > > > > > > > > > > (614) 292-3029 > > > > > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > > > www.johnmbennett.net > > > > > ___________________________________________ > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > It's another blog! http://flobberlob.blogspot.com/ > > > > > > > > > > > > ___________________________________________________________ > > > To help you stay safe and secure online, we've developed the > all new > > Yahoo! Security Centre. http://uk.security.yahoo.com > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
