I guess what I'm trying to say here is simply this. E-mail is a very
impersonal form of communication. To us it is just a bunch of text on the
screen that gets read back to us via our screen reader of choice without
sense of the emotion, intent, or purpose behind it. It is us, the reader,
who interpret it and assign emotions and intent to that message. It
sometimes is interpreted correctly, and sometimes it can lead to
misunderstandings and hurt feelings on both sides. Which is what I feel
I think that the use of colourful language was pretty well understood.
"were" a moderator on this list at that time. as a moderator you would in
the passed pull people up for using such trivial words as hell, yet
yesterday you knowingly go and break practically every single rule in the
book. But then again we can look back in the passed and see you breaking
rules whilst pulling people up for said very same thing so perhaps I
shouldn't be so surprised.
In my message yesterday I made reference to some problems with my
and let me say these are quite true, and as you might expect it is a very
stressful and painful time for me. I consider the issue very personal so
don't want to get into it at any real length, but my wife and I have been
having problems for quite a long time now and the situation has tended to
progress from bad to worse. We have been arguing about everything from
family finances to how much time I spend on my computer working on games
when she feels I should be spending that time with her or my son.
Well Thomas sorry to hear you're having problems. Relationship
are never easy. I very nearly allowed my relationship to be destroyed
through my lack of willingness to accept that I suffer from depression.
was only when my wife to be hit breaking point and nearly left me that I
pulled my finger out my butt and decided to do something about things
instead of mood swinging in multiple directions. But we all have choices
life. Looks like you need to reassess your priorities or not only could
be losing a wife you could be losing a son as well and I think that's sad
be very honest. But having said that, your problems are no more the
responsibility of this community than it is responsible for my depressive
states. Sorry to sound blunt but that really is the way it is. so what if
takes you longer to develop your games and software, if that saves your
marriage then isn't that worth it? you're letting other people put
on you when really it's you that needs to take a firm hand of your
Here is an example of what I mean. On July 4th my wife wanted to go to
fireworks as a family as we do every year, but I didn't want to go
for me listening to fireworks is nothing but a bunch of loud noise. I
those two hours or so could be better spend at home working on game code,
editing sounds, and working on game documentation. It went over with her
like a rock, and that started an argument that ruined the entire evening
I'm not surprised. The forth of july is a celebratory event which happens
once a year and should be spent with family friends and loved ones. Also
kids lets be honest they aren't going to stay kids for ever are they? My
partner does things sometimes with me that I enjoy but she doesn't
necessarily enjoy so much if at all. thus the saying give and take.
Having these kinds of personal issues is bad enough, but there are
individuals in this community who are pushing, nagging, and putting
on me to release Mysteries of the Ancients and Raceway on some
time table I can't simply meet and have any kind of time for my family,
work, etc. I don't know if it is their ignorance of how much time and
it takes to complete a game of any size, they are just self-centered, or
both. Either way you look at it their constant nagging, complaining, etc
just makes the situation that much worse for me because I have to make a
daily choice how to assign my free time which comes down to work on said
games or spend it with my family. Those of you who aren't married, don't
have family obligations and responcibilities, might not understand
what that feels like, or appreciate the situation I am in here.
Again it boils down to priorities. Don't get me wrong, people hassling
someone over how long something is going to take to be develop is rather
stupid an I'd be the first one to agree with that point. But you can
how to deal with it. you can either put your wife and child first and
work down on your projects, or you can continue working on your projects
the same speed if not faster and as a result lose your family
It comes down to balancing things out. What's more important to you after
all said and done? that's the biggest question.
Which brings us to Wednesday morning. I was already upset, not in a good
mood, when I opened gmail and began reading my mail that morning.
It was to everyone's misfortune that Che chose that day, of all days, to
write a message to the list standing up for his fellow developers, and
weather he intended to or not I felt extremely insulted by him calling me
programming elitist as well as a few other things he said in his
and that basically was enough to push me over the edge. I got extremely
angry and reacted poorly. As I said earlier there is no excuse for my
disgraceful behavior, but at the time I was not thinking to clearly. You
might say I went into a mindless rage, and it was only hours later after
cooled down that I thought about the results of my actions and saw how
poorly I handled the situation.
Yes you're right you did handle it badly not just as a user but as a
who is in a responsible position on this list.
Yes we are all only human and yes we all make mistakes fair enough. I've
made plenty of them. but at the end of the day this isn't the first time
Thomas is it that you've been pulled up by users when it comes to
programming and the like. If someone on here had done what you did
you would have hauled them over the coals, threatened moderation and
even banning them. can you give a reason as to why you perhaps should or
shouldn't suffer the same fate?
Well I do have to give you credit where credit is due, you did come back
write before the whole list community. But in my honest opinion you
never be allowed to moderate this list again.
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