Ditto on that!
On Fri, Feb 11, 2011 at 12:46 PM, Helen Huntley <[email protected]> wrote: > I don't care what they say; I like cheese mixed in with my grits. > > > On Fri, Feb 11, 2011 at 9:47 AM, Jay Cicone > <[email protected]>wrote: > >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> *What Are Grits* >> >> >> * >> >> Nobody knows. Some folks believe grits are grown on bushes and are >> harvested by midgets by shaking the bushes after spreading sheets around >> them. Many people feel that grits are made from ground up bits of white >> corn. >> >> These are obviously lies spread by Communists and terrorists. Nothing as >> good as Grits can be made from corn. The most recent research suggests that >> the mysterious Manna that God rained down upon the Israelites during their >> time in the Sinai Desert was most likely Grits. Critics disagree, stating >> that there is no record of biscuits, butter, salt, and red eye gravy raining >> down from the sky, and that God would not punish his people by forcing them >> to eat Grits without these key ingredients. >> >> How Grits are Formed. >> >> Grits are formed deep underground under intense heat and pressure. It >> takes over 1000 years to form a single Grit. Most of the world's grit mines >> are in South Carolina, and are guarded day and night by armed guards and pit >> bull dogs. Harvesting the Grit is a dangerous occupation, and many Grit >> miners lose their lives each year so that Grits can continue to be served >> morning after morning for breakfast (not that having Grits for lunch and >> dinner is out of the question). >> >> Yankees have attempted to create synthetic Grits. They call it Cream of >> Wheat. As far as we can tell, the key ingredients of Cream of Wheat are >> Elmer's Glue and shredded styrofoam. These synthetic grits have also been >> shown to cause nausea, and may leave you unable to have children. >> >> Historical Grits >> >> As we mentioned earlier, the first known mention of Grits was by the >> Ancient Israelites in the Sinai Desert. After that, Grits were not heard >> from for another 1000 years. Experts feel that Grits were used during this >> time only during secret religious ceremonies, and were kept from the public >> due to their rarity. >> >> The next mention of Grits was found amidst the ruins of the ancient city >> of Pompeii in a woman's personal diary. The woman's name was Herculaneum >> Jemimaneus (Aunt Jemima to her friends.) >> >> The 10 Commandments of Grits >> >> * Thou shalt not put syrup on thy Grits >> * Thou shalt not eat thy Grits with a spoon or knife >> * Thou shalt not eat Cream of Wheat and call it Grits, for this is >> blasphemy . >> * Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Grits. >> * Thou shalt use only salt, butter, and red-eye gravy as toppings for thy >> Grits. >> * Thou shalt not eat Instant Grits. >> * Thou shalt not put ketchup on thy Grits. >> * Thou shalt not put margarine on thy Grits. >> * Thou shalt not eat toast with thy Grits, only biscuits made from >> scratch. >> * Thou shalt eat grits on the Sabbath for this is manna from heaven. >> >> How to Cook Grits >> >> For one serving of Grits: >> Boil 1.5 cups of water with salt and a little butter. Add 5 TBsp of Grits. >> Reduce to a simmer and allow the Grits to soak up all the water. When a >> pencil stuck into the grits stands alone, it is done. That's all there is to >> cooking grits.(Some folks like their's soupy and that's OK) >> >> How to make red eye gravy >> Fry salt cured country ham in cast iron pan. Remove the ham when done and >> add coffee to the gravy and simmer for several minutes. Great on grits and >> biscuits. >> >> How to Eat Grits >> Immediately after removing your grits from the stove top, add a generous >> portion of butter or red eye gravy. (WARNING: Do NOT use low-fat butter.) >> The butter should cause the Grits to turn a wondrous shade of yellow. (Hold >> a banana or a yellow rain slicker next to your Grits; if the colors match, >> you have the correct amount of butter.) >> >> In lieu of butter, pour a generous helping of red eye gravy on your grits. >> Be sure to pour enough to have some left for sopping up with your biscuits. >> Never, ever substitute canned or store bought biscuits for the real thing >> because they caused cancer, rotten teeth and impotence. >> >> Next, add salt. (NOTICE: The correct ration of Grit to Salt is 10:1 >> Therefore for every 10 grits, you should have 1 grain of salt.) >> >> Now begin eating your grits. Always use a fork, never a spoon, to eat >> Grits.. Your grits should be thick enough so they do not run through the >> tines of the fork. >> >> The correct beverage to serve with Grits is black coffee. DO NOT use cream >> or, heaven forbid, Skim Milk.) >> >> Your grits should never be eaten in a bowl because Yankees will think its >> Cream of Wheat! >> >> Ways to Eat Leftover Grits: (Leftover grits are extremely rare) >> >> Spread them in the bottom of a casserole dish, >> Cover and place them in the refrigerator overnight. >> The Grits will congeal into a gelatinous mass. >> Next morning, slice the Grits into squares and fry them in 1/2" of cooking >> oil and butter until they turn a golden brown. >> >> Many people are tempted to pour syrup onto Grits served this way. This is, >> of course, unacceptable. >> >> TRADITIONAL BLESSING BEFORE EATING GRITS >> >> May the lord bless these grits, >> May no Damnyankee ever get the recipe, >> May I eat grits every day while living, >> And may I die while eating grits. >> >> AMEN * >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> -- >> GATORS: ONE VOICE ON SATURDAY - NO VOICE ON SUNDAY! >> 1996 National Football Champions | 2006 National Basketball Champions >> 2006 National Football Champions | 2007 National Basketball Champions >> 2008 National Football Champions | >> Three Heisman Trophy winners: Steve Spurrier (1966), Danny Wuerffel >> (1996), >> Tim Tebow (2007) - Visit our website at www.gatornet.us > > > > > -- > Helen Huntley > (727) 823-3801 > www.helenhuntley.com > > -- > GATORS: ONE VOICE ON SATURDAY - NO VOICE ON SUNDAY! > 1996 National Football Champions | 2006 National Basketball Champions > 2006 National Football Champions | 2007 National Basketball Champions > 2008 National Football Champions | > Three Heisman Trophy winners: Steve Spurrier (1966), Danny Wuerffel (1996), > Tim Tebow (2007) - Visit our website at www.gatornet.us > -- GATORS: ONE VOICE ON SATURDAY - NO VOICE ON SUNDAY! 1996 National Football Champions | 2006 National Basketball Champions 2006 National Football Champions | 2007 National Basketball Champions 2008 National Football Champions | Three Heisman Trophy winners: Steve Spurrier (1966), Danny Wuerffel (1996), Tim Tebow (2007) - Visit our website at www.gatornet.us
