[GELORA45] Starbucks Kicks Off War on Christmas 2016!

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Starbucks Kicks OffWar on Christmas 2016!
BY MATT MILLER  Nov 1, 2016 O Come all yehateful as we once again kick off the 
second annual 12 Days of the War onChristmas. You might recall our maiden 
campaign stretched for 44non-denominational days of gun-toting Christmas cards, 
Texas exorcisms, and questionablyshaped candy trees. As is tradition,we must 
begin the War on Christmas season with the age-old unveiling of theStarbucks 
cup. This involves the ancient custom of the family hopping in thecar, driving 
to the corner coffee spot, and purchasing a Starbucks caffeinatedbeverage in a 
special, limited edition holiday cup that inevitably pisseseveryone off. Last 
year, the season began on November 6, when PC culturewarriors bravely spoke out 
against Starbucks's attempt to take the words"Christ" and "Christmas" off their 
holiday cups. Socialmedia personality Joshua Feuerstein braved the corporate 
wrath of loyalStarbucks employees by tricking them into saying the banned words 
"MerryChristmas." Today,November 1, Starbucks revealed its 2016 cup. This 
year's design depicts anumber of hand-drawn individuals on a green cup with a 
white circle. From theofficial press release: "Thegreen cup and the design 
represent the connections Starbucks has as a communitywith its partners 
(employees) and customers. During a divisive time in ourcounty, Starbucks 
wanted to create a symbol of unity as a reminder of ourshared values, and the 
need to be good to each other," said HowardSchultz, chairman and CEO. Like last 
year'sred cup, it does not contain the word "Christmas." While Feuersteinhas 
not yet embarked on a brave campaign to right this wrong, people arealready 
feeling the angry spirit of this most wonderful time of the year. Confusingly 
enough,some seem to believe that the red (which did not represent Christmas 
lastyear), should be brought back to these green cups to make them 
moreChristmas-y.
esquire.com